The Maid - Chosen Over Mate (2)

Picking Maid Over Mate 

Is it a fetish?
THOMAS Jefferson was alleged to have sired several children with Sally Hemings, a slave at Monticello. Famous politician senator Strom Thurmond went to bed with his African-American maid and kept it a secret until he was 100 years old. Though one would assume this age-old practice of having sex with the "help" has long passed since the days of slavery, this is not the case at all.

Be it a fetish for French maid costumes and feather dusters, or a series of power trips, men are still turned on by their maids, as revealed in the recent case of former California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Last month, the 63-year-old Terminator star finally came clean about his affair and the "love child" he had with a two-decade-long household employee.
While his story is shocking, some countries have taken the maid fetish to another level.

In Japan, meido kafe (maid cafe) is the hottest trend in town. Designed to look like private homes, establishments like Tokyo's Cure Maid Cafe feature young waitresses dressed in French maid costumes.

They treat diners like masters and mistresses, sometimes offering massages and even kneeling by the table to stir cream and sugar into beverages.

Fuelled by sexy maid-themed anime, the trend is now taking off in Asia, too.

Are Malaysians spared from being enamoured with the help? Apparently not. 

Growing trend in maid-employer affairs
A maid agency operator in Klang says he is noticing a growing trend in husbands taking a liking to maids.

"I've run a maid agency for more than six years without any problems. However, for the past two years, there's been a rise in husbands hoping to 'bed' their maids.

"Since most of the maids I provide are young Filipino girls, who clean apartments on an hourly basis, many employers assume they can get away with taking advantage of them."

Florence, a part-time maid, was lured to Malaysia by a man whom she met on the Internet. She was hoping to start a new life in Malaysia and earn a decent living.

"I was happy when my boyfriend told me to meet him in Malaysia. He said there were good jobs here and I would earn a decent living.

"As soon as I arrived in Klang, my boyfriend introduced me to a maid agency boss. He said I had to work for about four hours in an apartment, cleaning and doing the laundry. The boss was willing to drop and pick me up from the apartment guardhouse.

"My first few jobs were simple; I only had to deal with the 'maam' of the apartments.

"One day, I was asked to clean a new client's apartment and was shocked to find only the husband there. I did my work as usual.

"But, when I went to make the bed, I heard someone entering and locking the door. I was scared to see the husband in the room. He said he wanted to make sure I was doing a good job.

"But when I felt his arms around my waist, I started yelling. He told me not to worry because he would pay me a lot of money to have sex with him. I pushed him aside and screamed even louder.

"He got scared the neighbours might hear me, so he left the room. I quickly packed my things and left."
Because of her harrowing experience, Florence is planning to return to the Philippines as soon as she has enough money. 

Victims choose silence
Ananda S.P., who runs a maid agency in the Klang Valley, believes such cases are rampant but most victims choose to be silent.

"There are no statistics to show how many of these cases exist because most of the maids are threatened. They only talk about the problem when they're about to leave the country or have already left. Only about one in 50 cases is reported to us during their contract period.

"Generally, this is a problem with Indonesian and Filipino maids. This could be because there's a higher ratio of them here and many of them are also attractive."

Ananda believes there are two sides to the coin: if there are no givers, there won't be any takers.

"These days, most wives spend less time at home and more at work. Men, on the other hand, hold higher positions and have the flexibility to be in the house more.

"Most of the time, these men strike a conversation with the maid. They ask about the maid's background and financial situation before feigning sympathy. Before long, they tempt the maid with extra cash and goodies.

"From the maid's perspective, since she's already married, this is similar to 'servicing' another master. Although this is far from being acceptable, most maids give in to temptation because of their financial situation back home."

Ananda says although most of these sexual advances are consensual, the marriage is at risk.

"In many instances, the maid will try to break up the home by finding favour with the husband. This is where trouble begins because once a wife starts to be suspicious, she will want the maid to leave. In the end, the maid will lose earning a living in Malaysia.

"Sometimes, the maid gets pregnant and is afraid to go home. She usually seeks an abortion. If this happens, we ask the husband to pay compensation to the maid to enable her to return to her country. More often than not, this breaks up the marriage and the couple get divorced.

"However, if the maid is forced to have sexual relations with her employer, we act in the best interests of the maid. We lodge a police report unless the maid is agreeable to the compensation."

Ananda says employers should realise that when they employ a maid, they're inviting a guest into their home, who probably has no money or contacts. They are responsible for her safety and well-being. She's not there to be a sex slave.

HELP University College vice-president and psychologist Dr Goh Chee Leong believes the strength of a marriage is the predictor for whether affairs happen.

"The will and discipline of either party determine the strength of a marriage. When a party is weak, that's when you give in to temptation.

"Wives or husbands who encounter situations like these should not blame themselves; the fault lies with the party who has cheated.

"Human beings are people with will and have the freedom to make their own decisions. No one is forced to cheat because as human beings, we pride ourselves in controlling our instincts and impulses. When we feel tempted, we have the strength to resist that temptation."

Source: New Straits Times - July 3, 2011