The Maid - Boyfriending @ Geylang

Nora*'s soft laughter as she talked, was to hide her blushing face.
She regretted hiding the paper that My Elder Sister was searching.
But she was ashamed to let My Sister read it.

There was a picture and story of an Indonesian maid and her boyfriend.
She felt ashamed looking at it, without even reading the paper.
She was ashamed because it involved her nationality, and it revolved around the work she is doing, being a domestic worker.

I did not know which paper and who was Nora talking about.
In My head, it was because of boyfriend issue that led Me to want her to follow Me to City Plaza.
It was not exactly because of remittance.

The second time she remitted some money, it was My Elder Sister who did it for her.
With that money, the mother had bought storage for water for Singaporeans' (???) usage, when they will be at her house soon.

******

Stories of maids had been hogging headlines lately.

27-year old Indrani arrived in Singapore last year, in March.

In July, she ran away from her employer and prostituted herself to earn money.

In October, she discovered her pregnancy without knowing who the father was.

She dug a 10cm hole to bury her newborn, his umbilical cord attached, on April 18 in Eunos Crescent in a rooftop garden.

Her baby's mouth, alive when found, was stuffed with mud and dried leaves.

The baby is now under foster care.

She was arrested near Eunos MRT Station on April 24 after overstaying here for 273 days.

She was jailed for 10 weeks and fined S$2,000 for abandoning her newborn baby.

****** ****** ******

Ruliyawati, married with a son, entered Singapore in July 2010.

A month later, Md Repon Mostafa befriended her.

Her body  was discovered on Monday morning, in a 2-meter water tank atop the 15-storey Housing Development Board block of flats in Woodlands, serving residents of  Block 686B, Woodlands Drive 73 on May 16.

The 27-year old Bangladeshi cleaner Md Repon was charged with her murder between 7:10 a.m. and 9:54 a.m.

****** ****** ******

An Indonesian domestic worker was about to finish her two-year contract.

She was asked to continue her service.

The four and two-year old toddlers she looked after, are too attached with her.

The maid laid down her term for extension.

She needs off days, which the employer agreed.

The employer received a police call at her working place to pick her maid at the police station.

Her domestic worker was caught with a Bangladeshi man at the beach not far from her house.

The employer was shown compromising and intimate photos of the maid with her boyfriend.

The maid gave the worst shock to the employer last February - Her two small kids were locked at home.

Just the two of them, to fend for themselves.

****** ****** ****** 

29-year old Anis Dwi Rianawati had told her employer that she was pregnant and would work for another two to three months before quitting.

A week later, she was missing from her bedroom at about 8am.

Her wallet, jewellery and some notes was on her bed.

It was a suicide notes.

The pregnant Indonesian maid had jumped from her employer's flat through the 18th-floor kitchen window on October 24, 2010.

Her body was found on a second-floor parapet shortly afterwards.

Her 45-year old Malaysian married boyfriend refused to stop seeing another girl in Batam. 

****** ****** ******

Another Bangladeshi worker, 35-year old Kamarul Hasan Abdul Quddus, met 25-year old Yulia Afriyanti at a social gathering in 2005.

They became intimate a year later in January 2007.

In September, she told her employers and friends that she would be marrying Kamrul in Indonesia.

But a month later, the marriage was called off as Kamrul was already married in Bangladesh with two children.

Early October, a Filipino construction worker, 25-year old Joseph Guerzon Corpuza, was given Yulia's number by his close friend, Aunt Annabelle.

He called her and they made plan to meet on Sunday, October 14.

She told him that her boyfriend had returned to Bangladesh.

Their relationship blossomed, became intimate, planned to marry but she never broke up with Kamrul.

Joseph would sometimes travel from Boon Lay to Grange Heights to meet her when she walked her employer's dog at 8 pm every night.

They had intimate relationship in November despite Yulia's fear of getting pregnant again.

Her previous pregnancy was aborted without knowing who the father was.

When Joseph saw the last of Yulia on Dec 9, she told him she and Kamrul Hasan were getting married in January.

On the evening of December 15, she called Joseph telling him she was going to Changi Airport with Kamrul to welcome his mother and brother.

He then tried to contact her many times but failed to do so.

When he finally managed to phone Yulia, a police officer answered, saying his former girlfriend was dead and that the police wanted to talk to him.

******

In mid December, upon Kamarul's return from Bangladesh, he met Yulia.

He then returned to his dormitory in Kaki Bukit but at 11.30pm, he took a bus to his worksite.

Less than eight hours later, a construction worker found Yulia's body in the cardboard box.

His fingerprints were found at the crime scene and DNA test showed they had sexual relationship within the 12 hours before she was found dead.

He was found guilty of strangling his girlfriend on December 16, 2007.

Her naked body was found at about 9.50am, in a big 1m long and 3/4m wide cardboard box in the bomb shelter of a third-storey unit at a condominium construction site in Queensway, near Holland Road, where he worked.

Police found Yulia's phone and jewellery in his Kaki Bukit dormitory locker when he was arrested on December 19.

He was sentenced to death in early January 2010.

****** ****** ******

24-year old Umi Umiroh was plagued by dreams of a crying baby in her employer's semi-detached house along Hillside Drive, a month into her job in July 2008. 

She told her friends about her dreams whom she usually met at the old age home, Ling Kwang Home in Serangoon Gardens. 

She took her employer's mother for therapy sessions twice a week.

The friends said it was the ghost of the previous maid's baby.

Kirun had confessed to them she had secretly given birth to a seven months baby girl in the toilet of her employer's house. 

She did not know what to do, so she just killed the baby, and buried her in the backyard.

While trimming grass in the garden later in theday, Umi smelled something foul. 

She related her fears to her employer of what her friends told earlier. 

A police report was made and the next day 9am, the police with four sniffer dogs, spent three hours in the garden. 

Then they digging up something buried about 15cm deep into the soil. 

Some small bones, born prematurely, wrapped with a yellow batik cloth, were recovered and analysed by the Health Science Authority.

Kirun, married with two children, was employed in June 2006, was always seen wearing loose-fitting batik dresses or oversized T-shirts.

Her main job was to take the employer's 82-year-old mother for physiotherapy sessions twice a week. 

They spent about seven hours from 8.30am to 3pm. 

Umi Umiroh arrived at Ms Goh's house on 6th June, spent two weeks with Kirun before she returned home on June 22.

Kirun, before her departure, had told Umi that she had at least two boyfriends in Singapore. 

She also told Umi about having aborted her three-month foetus, fathered by the Bangladeshi boyfriend.

Her Bangladeshi boyfriend gave her $10 each time they met.

Before she met the Bangladeshi, she was seeing a Myanmar national. 

She was able to meet them while waiting for the therapy sessions to end.

Three days before she left Singapore, she took Umi to meet her Bangladeshi boyfriend. 

He asked her to be his girlfriend after Kirun returned home.

****** 

I brought Nora to City Plaza to show her the popular hang-out for Indonesians on weekends.
It's Orchard Road's Lucky Plaza of the east. 

I wanted to show her how her folks are clothed, what some of her people are doing and behaving here - shopping, friending and boyfriending.
The partners are usually from Bangladesh.

But last Saturday afternoon, there were none to show her.
City Plaza was a desert, not a single maid's soul.
(to be continued)

Of Lifestyle Death And Women Pursuit Lifestyle Living

Allison Pearson: Death Should Not Be As Easy As Going To The Dentist
Allison Pearson on the unbearably moving case of terminally ill Peter Smedley, who chose to visit Dignitas; and why women love nothing more than a bit of benevolent sexism.
 
'A gentle good humour and stuff upper lip': Peter and Christine Smedley.

Two stories of the week.
The philanthropist Bill Gates passed round the hat and collected $4.3 billion for vaccinations which can eradicate simple diseases in the developing world.
Nine million children who would have died unnecessarily may soon have the right to live.
Meanwhile, in Switzerland, Sir Terry Pratchett, the best-selling novelist, was leading a campaign for another mortal right.

“Peter Lawrence Smedley, are you sure you want to drink this medicament with which you will sleep and die?”

“Yes, I’m quite sure.”

It sounded like a marriage, but it was actually a new rite of passage for humanity.
The death ceremony.
Peter, a charming retired hotelier, was pledging himself to Hades.

With the admin taken care of, Erika, the kindly Swiss death assistant, passed the poison cup to the 71-year-old motor-neurone disease sufferer.
He drank it down and, minutes later, there was a terrible, hoarse rasping sound.
The dying man asked for water.
The death assistant shook her head and hushed him.
We could no longer see Mr Smedley’s face because the camera had tactfully looked away and focused on Sir Terry instead, but Peter’s last words were as clear as they were unbearable:
“My wife’s very good at putting me to sleep just by rubbing my hands. Be strong, my darling.”

This assisted suicide, yours for £10,000 from Dignitas in Zurich, inclusive of ashes, was at the centre of Sir Terry Pratchett’s controversial BBC2 documentary, Choosing to Die.
It was very hard to watch without crying.
Even Sir Terry, the most vocal champion of the right to pencil your own extinction in the diary as if death were a dental appointment, snuffled away a few tears.
Most piercing of all was the way Mr Smedley and his wife Christine, immaculate in pearls, maintained a gentle good humour and stiff upper lip on what was the last day of their 34-year marriage.

“This has been a happy event,” announced Sir Terry afterwards.
“We’ve seen a man die peacefully, more or less in the arms of his wife. When we think of all the ways people can die, that would count as a result.”

I wouldn’t call it a result.
Sad and troubling, most definitely, with shades of Nazi eugenics and a fearful banality – the Dignitas clinic sits on a rumbling industrial estate, which lends a production-line air to one of life’s great mysteries.
Instead of Dylan Thomas urging us to rage against the dying of the light, Peter and Christine were offered coffee and a chocolate.
Milk or plain?
To be or not to be?
Welcome to the Travelodge of doom.

The BBC received 900 complaints about Choosing to Die.
Barely a murmur when you consider that 700 irate viewers rang in to protest that extended motor racing was allowed to bump off Antiques Roadshow.
Anti-euthanasia campaigners said the Pratchett documentary painted an idealised picture of assisted death rather than contributing to an honest debate.
That isn’t so.
It was a deeply thoughtful and moving programme orchestrated by a 63-year-old word wizard under the curse of Alzheimer’s.
Sir Terry is angry that terminally ill Britons, like himself, have to go to Switzerland to be put out of their misery. He fancies dying on his own sunlit lawn, drinking the fatal draught while listening to Thomas Tallis.

It’s a seductive picture, isn’t it?
As seductive as those TV commercials for Quietus, the over-the-counter suicide kit in Children of Men.
Set in the UK in 2027, P D James’s dystopic novel imagines a time when adults are encouraged to kill themselves with a product which soothingly offers to take the choice out of your hands.
You can be sure, dear reader, that when the state-sanctioned putting down of the sick, the disabled and the elderly comes, it won’t look like a factory run by Joseph Goebbels.
It will look like a lifestyle choice.
Make that a deathstyle choice.

That’s why, although Sir Terry, the lovely Smedleys and anyone in fear of a prolonged, painful death have my deepest sympathy, I feel we have to be vigilant and hold the line.
Imagine a clapped-out NHS, which can barely transplant the right kidney, being put in charge of legalised killing.
And if the private sector were involved, how soon before they’d be offering three for two?

You think I’m joking?
The single most shocking fact in Choosing to Die was that 21 per cent of the clients that Dignitas has put to sleep did not have progressive or terminal illnesses, but suffered from a “weariness of life”.
Dear God, if we adopt that criterion, every mum on the Friday afternoon of half-term would be queuing up for a merciful beaker of Paraquat.

While thousands of very sick people register for Dignitas, in the end most choose not to use it.
Knowing you can go quickly and painlessly if you have to seems to provide the strength to stay and see it through.
Let’s be honest, what really scares us is the thought of dying alone in some rank “care” home or being left on a hospital trolley, our shrunken self-respect barely covered by a blue paper gown.
Before we introduce a right to die, how about supporting the right to live our final days without shame?

The British people have not, overnight, become crazed converts to euthanasia, it’s just that too often the alternative is so cruel and awful.
Eighty per cent of us say we want to pass away in our own beds surrounded by family.
Yet the dire state of half of primary care trusts means that 60 per cent end up dying in hospital, where you have to plead for a glass of water.

Terry Pratchett admitted to Mick, an ebullient taxi driver whose motor-neurone disease is being managed by a terrific hospice, that Lady Pratchett does not agree with him on assisted dying.

“Maybe she wants to take care of you?” said Mick’s own wife pointedly.

“She does,” said Sir Terry sadly.

And what’s wrong with that?
Suffering can be our greatest trial but also, for the sufferer and for those who care for them, one of our greatest opportunities for love.
As Bishop Michael Nazir-Ali says:
“Again and again, people have told me how much they have learned about themselves and others at this time in their lives.”

I’m sure he’s right, and all my humane instincts recoil from the cold indignity of Dignitas.
And yet, at the back of my mind, a small voice keeps saying:
“If I had Alzheimer’s and knew that my self was about to vanish, like sand through a sieve, would I want the rest of me to go on?”

*******

You have to admit these are baffling times for blokes.
Thousands of angry young women marched through London wearing bras, suspenders and skirts shorter than a text message on something called a SlutWalk.
I suppose those wearing black PVC corsets are what you might call Basque Separatists.
Any males who ogled, gawped, fell off their bikes, crashed the car or even got lightly steamed-up specs were guilty of judging a female’s availability by her appearance.
No means No, even when a woman’s dressed like a prostitute saying Yes.
Got that?

Meanwhile, another protest by women was going on outside the tragically retrograde new Playboy Club. These females were objecting to the club’s 50 bunny girls being tricked out with tails and ears for the delectation of customers.
“Is the bunny an empowering role for the modern girl or a frivolous sexist plaything?” asked one commentator.
Hmm, give me till the end of this sentence to think about that.
Emmeline Pankhurst and the girls might be a bit surprised to learn they chained themselves to railings so that Hayley from Dunbarton could celebrate her empowerment by sticking a powder puff on her arse.

As if all this wasn’t confusing enough, the Society for the Psychology of Women in Washington DC has just decreed that chivalry is actually “benevolent sexism”.
Researchers warn that there are many acts of unnoticed sexism taking place every day.
They have drawn up a helpful list so we can all be on our guard: a man offering to help his wife with heavy shopping, man calling a group of men and women “guys” and offering to do the driving on long-distance journeys.
Even men who shower their woman with “unwanted affection” or say they cannot live without her could also be sexist.
Phew.
Thank goodness there’s no danger of that kind of thing happening in my house!

It would take a book to unpick this cat’s cradle of contradictions, but let me say two things.
First, north America, where the SlutWalks originated, has the most atrocious maternity leave in the Western world.
Women quit work practically on the day they give birth and are expected to be back in weeks.
If young women are going to take to the streets, then let them fight for the right to have decent time with their babies, not to get their boobs out.

Second, I hereby declare myself the founding member of Women For Benevolent Sexism.
Any gents who want to help me with a suitcase, hold a door open or smile eagerly and say,
“That’s my pleasure, young lady,” please go ahead.

Source: The Telegraph - Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Maid - 'Deadly' Test To Make A Living

Family of Dead Indonesian Maid in Shock 
Melisa Kok

Singapore. The family members of the Indonesian woman, who took her own life after failing an entry test for maids thrice, have buried her in their home town of Kluwan in Central Java. But they are still in shock over their loss.

Sulastri Wardoyo, 26, had hanged herself at the maid hostel where she was staying last Saturday, after failing three times to pass a test that would have let her work here. (ST Photo)

Sulastri Wardoyo, a married 26-year-old mother of one, had hanged herself in a shower stall in a maid hostel here on May 28. She died in hospital a few days later.

Her husband, who gave his name only as Sudarsono, told The Straits Times in a telephone interview: 'Up to today, we don't believe she committed suicide. She was a strong woman; she wouldn't do something like that.'

The 27-year-old farmer had been told on May 31 by his wife's Indonesian recruiter that she had been hospitalized, and then told the next day that she had died.

Her body was flown back last Friday and buried on the same day.

It is believed that Sulastri became despondent when she failed to clear the written English test of literacy and numeracy skills.

All newly arrived maids have to pass the test within three days of their arrival, among other requirements, before they are cleared to work in Singapore.

If they fail it, they are sent home.

Sudarsono said there were no problems at home. He described his late wife as a strong-hearted woman who was very close to her family and ever ready to help her friends.

'While being trained at the training centre before she went to Singapore, she called us every Saturday and Sunday to ask how we were doing. She was also supportive of her friends who were also undergoing training with her at the centre,' he said.

Indonesians looking to become maids in Singapore for the first time undergo around three months of training, which covers areas such as spoken English and performing household chores.

Sudarsono said his wife did not face difficulties during her training, but added that they had not been in touch since her arrival here.

Their daughter, 11/2-year-old Afeka Fapeana Kusumu Dewi, is now being cared for by  Sulastri's parents.

The child misses her mother, said Sudarsono. 'She cries all the time, asking, 'Where is mother?' She is confused.'

He said his wife had borrowed about 7 million rupiah (S$1,000) from relatives to come to Singapore to work.

When asked if he had to pay the money back, he said: 'We discussed it as a family. They understand.'

He said he is not sure who will have to foot his wife's hospital bills, but added matter-of-factly: 'Right now, I think it's my responsibility.'

Bridget Tan, president of the Humanitarian Organization for Migration Economics, said she and a few representatives of the migrant worker welfare group will visit Sudarsono and his family next week with an offer of assistance.

She added that she was also looking to start a public donation drive to raise funds for Sulastri's family.

The Indonesian woman's death has turned the spotlight on the entry test for foreign domestic workers, with many maid agencies and employers calling for it to be either reviewed or scrapped.

The Manpower Ministry said on Monday that it is reviewing the test, following feedback it has received over the last few months.

Source: The Jakarta Globe - Wednesday, June 8, 2011

******

Officials on Friday vowed to review training programs for migrant workers as news reached the country that Sulastri Wardoyo had attempted suicide and died in the hospital.

Asia-Pacific director for protection at the National Board for the Placement and Protection of Indonesian Overseas Workers (BNP2RKI), Sadono, said the state would ensure that workers were prepared for life abroad before approving their permits.

Aside from language skills, Sulastri’s case highlighted the need to prepare workers mentally for the stresses of life abroad.

Workers who have not completed their training cannot be placed in any country to avoid any problem over the lack of skills or language training.

Sulastri was housed by employment agency Budget Maid in a hostel, in north of Singapore.

She took the Foreign Domestic Worker Entry Test on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday but failed every time.

Staff claimed that she had been depressed over her trice failure in the English-language, preventing her from working in the city-state. 

She then tried to commit suicide by hanging herself in a shower cubicle at the maid hostel where she was staying on Saturday. 

After she was found, staff cut the rope used to hang herself.

Her heart stopped three times as paramedics tried to resuscitate her.

She was then admitted to intensive care at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital since Saturday after the attempted suicide.

She was said to have suffered brain damage after scanning, and passed away last Wednesday, after being confined in intensive care.

Severe brain damage can occur when the brain is deprived of oxygen for more than two minutes and such patients would be in a comatose state and can have difficulty breathing.

The Indonesian government was urged to find out why Sulastri failed the test.

It is important too, for the government to craft pro-training policies, and national discussion is needed as it acknowledge that training programs are still weak.

The government needs to evaluate the migrant-worker training system locally.

It would even be better if the government will also be involved in giving training to the migrant workers to improve the quality of the workers sent abroad.

For now, the government requires private recruitment agencies to give preparation courses and teaches skills for workers and state bodies.

But the state is encouraged not to depend on recruiters to provide quality instruction.

Executive director of Migrant Care, Anis Hidayah, needs the Indonesian government to “tighten supervision” of placement agencies and evaluate the preparations provided by these agencies.

She added, migrant workers’ readiness should be measured by their ability to speak the language of their employer country, their completion of administrative requirements and the skills they need for the job.

****** 

Singapore Entry Test for Maids 'Too Difficult' 
Elizabeth Soh 

Singapore. About 50 maids sat the test - and only five passed.

That was the dismal result yesterday when the latest batch of newly arrived maids took the Foreign Domestic Worker Entry Test.

They must pass the test before they can work here, and are given three tries, failing which they must leave Singapore. But they can come back to retake the test.

Last Saturday, an Indonesian maid, who was said to be depressed after failing the test three times, tried to hang herself.

Every weekday, about 80 maids take the test in batches at the Mountbatten office of Grace Management, which has been contracted by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) to conduct the tests.

The test was introduced in 2005 as part of measures by MOM to improve the literacy and numeracy skills of maids here. In 2009, the questions were revised following an MOM review.

Maids have 30 minutes to answer 40 multiple choice questions in English. The questions test their understanding of English as well as in areas like household chores, budgeting and childcare.

At the centre yesterday, the mix of Indonesian, Filipino and Myanmar maids looked nervous while waiting for their results. Some were already crying while others clutched well-thumbed folders containing sheets of sample questions and answers that they had studied.

Maids awaiting the results of the entry test yesterday. They must pass the test before they can work here, and are given three tries, failing which they must leave Singapore. MOM says the test has helped to ensure that more mature and literate maids come here. (ST Photo/Wang Huifen)

The results were out within half an hour and, according to the agents there, all except five maids failed. It was the second or third attempt for most.

MOM has said the passing rate for the test has consistently been 95 per cent. But agents said that based on what they have observed, the rate is much lower.

'Each day, at least half will fail,' said an agent who was at the centre. 'Some are taking the test for the 20th time. They will just keep trying because the cost is too much for them to give up.'

Filipino and Sri Lankan maids are repatriated if they fail and have to face the disappointment of families, who often have to sell their cattle or homes to pay for them to come here.

Most Indonesian maids are sent to Batam to be retrained before they take the ferry back - often at their own expense - to try again. Almost all owe at least $1,000 to their agents back home.

Myanmar maid Bawk Nu, 23, was one of the few who cleared the test yesterday. It was her first attempt. 'I was not confident of passing, I was so scared,' she said in a mix of English and Mandarin. 'I'm very happy I can be a maid now.'

Twenty employment agencies interviewed said the passing rates ranged from 60 per cent for Myanmar and Indonesian maids to 90 per cent for Filipino ones.

Filipino maid Felicita Fernandez, 41, started to cry 10 minutes before the results were out. She was taking the test for the third time. 'If I fail this time, I will have to go back to the Philippines,' said the mother of four. 'I have no money and I will now owe more.'

Unfortunately, she failed.

About 10 maids interviewed at the centre said they did not understand most of the questions. While most were able to read them, they did not understand the content.

'I tikam the paper,' said Indonesian maid Sumiyati, 23, referring to how she made wild guesses. She showed how she circled the answers randomly.

Employment agencies said the test became too tough after it was revised. A common complaint was that it now features far fewer illustrations and pictures.

Peter Chan of Javamaids said: 'Passing the entry test also does not mean that they can converse in English. And no matter how much we train the girls in other areas like cooking, it's useless if they can't pass the test.'

Suhaila Musao of Yathrib Services said: 'The real value in the training is the practical lessons like ironing and cooking. But the maids are so frustrated and pressured about the test that they cannot focus.'

An MOM spokesman said the test has helped ensure that more mature and literate maids come to Singapore. It is conducted in English because public signs and labels are generally in that language.

Several employers said that while an entry test was important, what was more useful than a maid's ability to speak English were skills like being able to look after the elderly and children and cook basic meals.

'I want a maid with a good learning attitude and good hygiene, who can cook and take care of my family,' said marketing executive Josephine Teo, 54.

'Speaking English is a plus, but also something she can learn over time.'

Source: The Jakarta Globe - June 2, 2011

****** 

MOM Reviewing Effectives Of Entry Test For Maids

WE REFER to recent letters and articles in The Straits Times on the entry test for first-time foreign domestic workers (FDWs), following the tragic demise of Ms Sulastri Wardoyo.
The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) introduced the entry test in 2005 as part of a package of measures to ensure first-time FDWs are able to adapt to working and living in Singapore.
The entry test was thus designed to ensure that they possess basic numeracy and literacy skills. It also helps ascertain the ability of FDWs to understand basic safety instructions, as most of them will be working in a highly urbanised environment for the first time.
This is important, both for the safety of the FDW as well as the young children and the elderly she may be taking care of.
Contrary to suggestions by some employment agencies, MOM has not made the entry test more difficult in recent months or years. It is also inaccurate to draw conclusions about the passing rate from a single test session, as your newspaper did ('Entry test for maids 'too difficult''; last Thursday).
In fact, close to 95 per cent of first-time FDWs pass the test. To better assess whether a potential FDW can pass the entry test, employment agencies may use the sample test questions available on MOM's website.
The ministry has been receiving suggestions and ideas on the entry test in recent months, in part due to policy changes in the FDW source countries. MOM is reviewing the effectiveness of the entry test to ensure it remains relevant, while taking into consideration the feedback received.
We will work with key stakeholders as part of the review. Members of the public can e-mail suggestions and views to mom_fmmd@mom.gov.sg
Farah Abdul Rahim (Ms)
Director, Corporate Communications
Ministry of Manpower

Source: Asia One - Tuesday, June 7, 2011

In Dubai

One Indian Expat Commits Suicide Every Three Days 

Indian consulate reveals grim figures as three Indians kill themselves in 10 days
 

Bystanders watch Dubai police rescue Murugesh, 40, a desperate worker after he climbed up a 30-metre electric pole for suicide along Al Khail Road. (FILE)

As many as 27 Indians took their lives in the first quarter of this year, adding to the 110 who committed suicide last year, the Indian consulate revealed Monday.
The stats were revealed following a spate of suicide cases in the last 10 days in which two executives and a labourer committed suicide, indicating an alarming pervasion of the tendency across the social strata.
Though, the stats show a steady decrease in the numbers over the past three years, but Indians are still number one by far when it comes to taking their own lives.
Figures show that of the 1,420 Indian deaths registered at the consulate in 2008, 147 were suicides. In 2009, the number of suicides came down to 113, however, the number of deaths registered also dropped to 1,285.
“Any suicide is a worry. We are working to reach out to people to take help from councellors,” said Sanjay Verma, Consul General of India.
He said that the majority of those taking their lives are blue-collar workers, who take the step either because of a financial stress or personal issues.
However, the rising profiles of recent suicides have alarmed the authorities, indicating that the tendency is pervasive and not confined any particular strata of the society.
Among the recent cases that stand out is the suicide of 38-year-old high profile executive Llewelyn Couto, who jumped from the 40th floor of Icon 1 building at Jumeirah Lakes Towers.
Friends of Couto, who remember him as a ‘funny guy’ who laughed and made others do the same, are in a shock of their life as news of the suicide spread.
Couto left behind a six-month pregnant wife and 18-month-old child and worked in a senior position at the fashion chain Splash.
The 38-year-old’s death leap follows two other such cases in which a 30-year-old Indian foreman jumped off the 147th floor of Burj Khalifa, and a labourer was found hanging from the ceiling in Sharjah.
Though, the details of the third case were not revealed, both Couto and the foreman’s suicides seemingly stem from depression and frustration, seen as common causes in most suicide cases.

******

Another Suicide?

Man jumps to death from 30th floor in JLTA


A woman saw the man jump and called the police. Initial investigations do not show foul play.
 

An Indian executive allegedly committed suicide on Sunday by jumping from the 30th floor of a building in Jumeirah Lake Towers at around 1.30pm, reported 'Khaleej Times'.
A woman saw the man jump and called the police, who moved the body to Department of Forensic Medicine. Initial investigations do not show foul play.
A letter allegedly written by the 45-year-old man reveals he was taking his own life following a dispute with his wife and due to certain financial problems, said police sources.
Found hanging
Meanwhile, Sharjah Police are investigating into the death of an Indian worker last Thursday. The 26-year-old man was found hanging from the ceiling of his room, which he shared with a few others. His co-workers and roommates are being interrogated.
Last week, another Indian reportedly committed suicide in a plunge of 39 floors from a segment of the world's tallest skyscraper in Dubai. Dubai Police, Emaar Properties, which owns and manages Burj Khalifa, and a resident, confirmed the report to Emirates 24|7.

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Financial Woes Behind Most Dubai Suicides 

Account for 80% of cases which are concentrated between age group of 20 and 40  

Picture used for illustrative purposes only. (FILE)

About 80 per cent of suicides concentrate between the age group of 20 and 40 years. Financial woes topped the list of causes that drove people to suicides in the emirate, according to a forensic expert.
There were 477 suicide cases in Dubai in the last four years, according to Dubai Police records. While 2009 saw a decline in the number of cases (113 cases) from 2006 and 2007, which saw 102 and 114 cases respectively, the number of suicide cases had peaked in 2008 with 148 cases investigated.
Dr Ashraf Ibrahim Hassan, forensic medical examiner, Forensic Medicine Department, Dubai Police, said 60 per cent of cases are due to financial reasons, 30 per cent due to emotional reasons, only 10 per cent are due to other causes.
Physical methods of terminating life were the most common and provide direct evidence, while chemical methods offer latent evidence of action. In cases of poisoning, it is difficult to prove if it was a suicide case or just an overdose of drugs, said Dr Hassan.
Similarly to rule out suicide in cases of death due to fall or drowning takes time as witnesses play a  crucial role. Also in such cases detailed investigation with respect to the victims' family history and his immediate environment is time consuming.
Dr Hassan said: "Suicides formed only less than 10 per cent of the total cases of deaths submitted to the Department of Forensic Medicine (criminal and normal). Natural deaths formed 70 per cent and murder included 20 per cent, while deaths due to accidents (vehicle) represented just 10 per cent. While 80 per cent of suicides are concentrated in the age group from 20 to 40 years, drug abuse form 20-25 per cent of deaths."
When it comes to taking one's life, men are more aggressive, he said. Of the 113 cases reported last year, only nine involved women, said Dr Hassan, which is less than 10 per cent. Suicides are most common among illiterates and the unskilled and are rare among the educated, he added.
In most cases victims end their lives to escape difficult siuations. Yet others end their lives to bury a secret with them. Whatever the reason, suicide is not the answer, said Dr Hassan.
People who have survived suicide attempts have reported wanting not so much to die as to stop living, a strange dichotomy but a valid one nevertheless, he said.
Depression is also increasingly becoming a prime reason. "My experience has shown that 90 per cent of suicides follow psychological pressure, where the person might not have been willing to work, for instance, otherwise he might be a dignified and sensitive person. About 20 per cent of victims would have already attempted suicide before.”
In his long experience with the forensic department, Dr Hassan has come across several interesting as well as difficult cases. One particular case that moved him the most was the sight of small children crying on seeing their father hanging from the ceiling when they returned from school.
He another case, a Pakistani man's body was found with 17 incised wounds on his neck and wrists, apparently made with razors. Investigations proved he was a highly religious person but was mentally  depressed, he said.
Similarly, an Indian computer engineer was found dead inside his car in Dubai again with injuries on his neck and wrists. Investigations found that he was accused of stealing money from his company.
Another incident, Dr Hassan said, which was confirmed as natural death and later revoked to as suicide when they found marks on his neck that showed he was killed and then hanged.
Police found a body on Al Saif Street with his shirt wrapped around his neck and initial probe said it was a car accident. Later it was proved that he had committed suicide and his partners wanted to get rid of his body as they were into illicit liqour trade and therefore dumped his body on the street.
Dr Hassan said suicide among children was rare. In one such case the body of an 11-year old was found in Al Qusais area. He had hanged himself. Among children the reasons are very silly, he said, such as betting among themselves to a daredevil act just mimicking their superheroes.
Shooting oneself is again rare method adopted by people committing suicides, he added.

Source: Emirates 247

Profit From The Poor

Fifty-four suicides in Andra Pradesh  have blown the lid off the social posturing by microfinance companies. Before the news of the deaths sank in, the country feted Vikram Akula, head of SKS Micro-finance, as the new messiah of microcredit. A 273 per cent growth in loan disbursement and returns to investors made him a national hero. India’s micro-finance institutions claim they followed the fabled Grameen Bank model of Bangla­desh. In reality, they went against its principles. And the government did not do enough; regulations are fleeting and they don’t touch where it hurts most: the high interest rates.
Richard Mahapatra reports from Andhra Pradesh. Arnab Pratim Dutta charts the growth trajectory of India’s microfinance institutions

An SHG in Warangal’s Jawahar Colony meets to discuss joint liability in October (Photo: Sayantan Bera)Ega Mounika was born into debt, lived in debt and died with debts. The college-going 20-year-old of Warangal’s Karimabad village immolated herself on September 25; three days later, she died. “My daughter wanted to release us from debt,” said her father Laxmi Narayan who sustained burn injuries trying to rescue her. He owns a paan shop and always had debts, which is why no bank found him worthy of a loan. So five years ago, when a microfinance institution (MFI) approached her mother, a beedi roller, offering a loan of Rs 10,000, Mounika was quick to say yes. She bought a sewing machine with the money, started a tailoring business, dividing her time between studies and the new machine. “Things were fine for two weeks,” said Narayan, “then we began to default.” Loan repayment is usually weekly in microfinance.
That was how the family entered a labyrinth of debts; nobody knew the way out. They borrowed afresh to pay off old debts and sank deeper. The only way they could avoid default was by taking yet another loan. “We took four loans worth Rs 80,000 from four different companies,” Narayan said. But that was hardly a solution. The family earned Rs 4,500 a month and had to repay loan installments of Rs 10,000 a month. With five loans on their head, Mounika’s family had a loan installment to repay almost every day. Then there were the three emergency loans of Rs 5,000 from moneylenders at 120 per cent interest in the past three years. Every day for five years, MFI collection agents would come to their house and get rough. “There was no peace any more, the family was ruined,” Narayan said.
On September 25, the collection agents told Mounika’s mother, sell your daughter to the flesh trade and repay. Mounika chose to die. Even before the family could come out of shock, the agents were back at their door. When Narayan asked for time, they refused saying the business model of microfinance companies does not allow that. Had the borrower committed suicide, in this case Mounika’s mother, the lending company could have claimed the sum from the insurance company as all loans are insured. No wonder, people have alleged MFI agents abet suicide (see ‘How the noose tightens’,).

If I am not creditworthy why did four MFIs give me loan? I need both credit as well as support to help me set up business that will be viable MANJULA GIRABENI, MFI customer, Warangal, Andhra Pradesh

Some 20 km away, Mohammad Saif of Jawahar Colony feels lucky. His mother attempted suicide on October 20 but survived. She got loans worth Rs 2 lakh from four companies. But even after paying for over 400 weeks, the outstanding amount is around Rs 1.5 lakh. Saif said he sold his autorickshaw; the small hotel they ran is shut down.
In 2006, his mother along with 13 other women in the neighbourhood, had formed a self-help group (SHG). Under the state government’s Indira Kranthi Patham programme—linking SHGs to banks for loans based on group savings—they saved money every month for a year to get a bank loan. Only three women got a loan from the SHG as regulations stipulate revolving loans. A year of saving and ensuring that everybody complies took time.
“I withdrew. Then a microfinance company came to my doorstep and gave me Rs 14,000,” said Sarojini Rathipilli, a resident. She set up a sari shop but with a sale of one sari in three or four days, she had to take another loan to repay the first one. In four years she accumulated four loans and weekly repayment that was 10 times her earning.
“Repayment takes away everything, even the business set up with MFI loans,” said Matapalli Radhika, a borrower. No business started with loans from MFIs has survived in Jawahar Colony, where almost every family has taken a loan. Now as they try to revive the SHG, the past default doesn’t qualify them to access loan from a bank. The alternative: moneylenders.
Village after village in Warangal only confirms that the rural credit business has undergone a suicidal makeover. There is great need for credit that is in short supply from benign sources like public sector banks. It becomes clear that every borrower from a microfinance company has suffered acutely because of the failures of other public credit programmes.
Advantage MFIs
Bhagyalaxmi Mahila Multi-aided Cooperative Society in Enugallu village in Warangal’s Parbutagiri block has a public credit programme that has not failed its borrowers. It has several SHGs as members and gets loans from nationalised banks showing group savings. The repayment rate has been encouraging at 80 per cent. The cooperative society, unlike microfinance companies, distributes profits among members; this year it gave a dividend totalling Rs 3 lakh and set aside Rs 5 lakh as revolving fund to attract more bank loans. “The 15 per cent interest is heaven compared to 36 per cent of the MFIs,” said Turi Laxmi, president of the cooperative.
But things are changing. Banks have suddenly stopped loans to the cooperative; they lend directly to SHGs. Bhagyalaxmi is an innovation. It has been recommended by many high-level government panels on rural credit. “The average loan amount with an SHG is not adequate. But banks refuse to recognise us,” said T Yugandhar of Sanghatitha Mahila MACS Federation, Andhra Pradesh, the apex body of such cooperative societies with over 2,174 SHGs as members. The cooperative got its last bank loan in April 2008. “Without immediate loans we will not be able lend to the rural poor. This obviously leaves space for MFIs to capture,” he said.
Rural India’s subprime crisis
Warangal’s story repeats itself in And­hra’s 22 other districts; it is constricted by a rural credit crisis. Around 75 per cent of India’s MFIs are located here.
The current crisis in Andhra Pradesh is the rural Indian version of the subprime crisis in the US in 2006. It started at the same time and with a similar unsustainable model of credit that involved high risk and high profit. In subprime lending, organisations give loans to people with poor credit worthiness. In the US, subprime lured many to multiple loans. But these loans had mortgages like the house or the car borrowers bought with the loan. MFIs adopted the same model but without a collateral. In the US lending companies took the hit while in Andhra Pradesh borrowers were crushed.
The news of recent suicide deaths provoked workers of a political party to vandalise the office of an MFI in WarangalAccording to information submitted by MFIs on October 29 to the state government, 50 per cent of rural poor households in the state have taken multiple loans. The interest rate ranges from 21.2 per cent to 60.5 per cent.
Down To Earth accessed these MFI submissions and found more than 80 per cent borrowers are from non-farm sectors. The majority of the rural poor sought loans to sell vegetables, run a dairy or do scrap and steel business. MFIs lend close to Rs 200 crore every week to non-farmers. According to a confidential report prepared by the Society for Elimination of Rural Poverty (SERP), state government body linking SHGs with banks for credits, of the 54 suicides in the state recently, allegedly due to harassment by MFI agents, 45 were by landless. “Most MFI borrowers are landless. And unlike the last spate of farmer suicides five years ago, mostly non-farmer and first time borrowers died in the current wave,” said Narasimha Reddy, journalist with Eenadu.
SHGs slow but steady
A survey found that only three per cent of rural borrowers were confident of getting a bank loan. Thus the SHG-bank linkage is a bonanza. Women first save—usually Rs 30-40 a month per member in a group of 14—for close to a year. The banks treat the savings as the collateral and lend an equal amount or more at 14-15 per cent interest. The SHG re-lends at around 16-24 per cent interest after assessing the borrower’s ability to pay back. Since 2006, under the Pavalla Wadi scheme SHG members pay an interest of three per cent while the state government bears the rest.

On one hand you are for profit so that you can attract capital from the market. On the other, you are under pressure from investors to grow fast. It is now all about making profit VIPIN SHARMA,CEO, Access

The state has the country’s largest number of micro-credit groups—975,362 SHGs with 11 million members. The number of SHGs has increased 10 times in the past decade covering almost 90 per cent of the state’s rural women.
An impact assessment by the Centre for Economic and Social Studies in Hyderabad, published in May this year, shows that while the micro-credit did help many, the sum was grossly inadequate. It found SHG members sourced 71 per cent of their credit demand from informal sources (read, moneylenders and relatives with interest rates ranging from 60 to 120 per cent).
Around 100,000 SHGs are yet to be linked to banks and thus to credit. “This probably explains why nationalised banks are lending less to SHGs and doing bulk lending to MFIs. This has been the trend since 2005,” said Kurapati Venkatanarayana, professor of economics with Kakatiya University, Warangal.
Another problem is the 12 per cent subsidy on interest. People pay the 15 per cent interest to the bank; after it certifies the SHG has repaid all loans, the government directly reimburses the 12 per cent in the SHG account. But there is a catch. “Banks delay the certification and it takes one to two years for the subsidy money to come through,” said Rama Jyothi, an independent observer.
Time is another factor. It takes an SHG three to four months to get a bank loan and another month to disburse. “Many banks don’t allow SHGs to lend their savings. This brings down the credit available,” admitted B Rajsekhar, chief executive officer of SERP.

The poor can handle credit, but it must be provided at a moderate interest rate. The current microfinance institutions tilt towards extreme profitability VIJAY MAHAJAN, president, Microfinance Institutions Network

Given this widening gap in supply people turn to MFIs for credit. “These companies tapped into an organised captive market,” said Vijay Mahajan, president of the Microfinance Institutions Network (MFIN), a self-regulatory body of for-profit MFIs. An MFI loan is with the borrower in three days. With no collaterals there are two ways to ensure repayment: form a joint liability group (JLG); if one member defaults the group is responsible. The other is coercion. An MFI collection agent gets around 55 per cent of his salary as incentive if collection meets the target.
Close to 80 per cent of SHG members have taken MFI loans. Andhra Pradesh is a pointer to the future. As MFIs scale up in the rest of India they will most likely deliver similar distress on a wider scale.

Read more:  Rise And Rise Of MFIs

Source:  Down To Earth

Korean Wave Depression (Pact?)

A South Korean actor and singer, Park Yong Ha, 33, was found dead in his room by his mother after he apparently hanged himself with an electrical cord at his Nonhyun-dong, Seoul, home on Wednesday morning of June 30.

 

The evening prior to his death, on the 29th, Park missed a meeting with drama producers for his upcoming project "Love Song - Drama". 

His manager could not contact him and producers of "Love Song - Drama" are “in panic mode” because Park’s passing leaves them without a lead.

 

Park, after having debuted 15 years ago in youth shows like KBS’s 1995 "Love Blossoms in the Classroom" and 1996's "Start", he shot to fame with 2002’s "Winter Sonata", which made him a household name and a “Hallyu star” (Korean Wave Star). 

He rode the wave of Korean pop culture in Asia and won fans in Japan and other Asian countries.  Thus, he used that fame as a springboard to a singing career in Japan and releasing albums, where he enjoyed quite a lot of popularity.

 

He had a successful drama hit in 2008's "One Air", and totally stole viewers' heart in 2009’s.

Most recently, he had been chosen for the leading role in a Korean television drama, a remake of the high-profile popular 1996 Hong Kong film, "Comrades, Almost a Love Story" and shooting was set to begin in July. 

Park Yong-ha was cast alongside Yoon Eun-hye.

 

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KBS said Park spent his last moments on Tuesday night with his father, who is suffering from cancer. 

 

Around 12:40 am, he was with his father, massaging his father’s legs for a long while before leaving with the words: 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'

He then went into his room, where he was reportedly died from hanging, found by his mother in his room with a cell phone cord around his neck in the morning.

 

One producer said that they had seen Park occasionally in a down mood, but attributed it to news of Park’s father who recently moved back home from the hospital after his stomach cancer was deemed late-stage. 

A friend who met him a few months ago, had seen the depression in him and his father’s illness made things worse.

 

Park had said in an interview that he suffered from depression, which was exacerbated by prolonged promotional activities abroad.

In an interview last year while promoting his movie "The Scam" Park said that he had been suffering from insomnia for the past 10 years. 

He is rather sensitive that if something bothers him, he will not be able to sleep until it is resolved and is envious of people who can sleep well. 

Sleep is needed for him, for good mental health.

 

The parade of celebrity visits had begun, with stars coming to pay their respects to Park, whose body was transferred to a Kangnam hospital.

 

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The actor's co-star, currently acting in "Coffee House", is reportedly to be so distraught to receive a “huge shock” from the news and “is in very bad condition.”

There’s concern she won’t be able to continue filming as she had just spoke with him on the phone the night before and he sounded normal.

He even had made plans to meet friends later in the day.

One of his last call was reportedly with DBSK’s Hero Jaejoong (above right), who is currently recording in the U.S. with whom he’d grown closer.

He gave the latter advice about pursuing singer activities in Japan and they had agreed to have a drink together when Jaejoong he is back to Korea.

Park’s last twitter message was posted Saturday the 26th and was about the World Cup.
“We lost. But they did well. clap clap clap~ Everyone, let’s clap with warm hears for our national soccer team, who return with heavy steps. Good job!!”

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If confirmed of suicide, Park would be the latest of a number of entertainers to kill themselves.

His passing is a reminder of the recent string of celebrity suicides, from the deaths of actresses Lee Eun-ju in 2005 and Jeong Da-bin in 2007 to that of actor Ahn Jae-hwan in 2008 and “Boys Over Flowers” actress Jang Ja-yeon in 2009.
Top movie actor Choi Jin-young’s suicide was in March, nearly two years after his sister, actress, Choi Jin-sil, committed suicide in 2008.　

Choi Jin Shil rose to fame with a TV commercial, appearing as a newly wedded bride.

Her cute and smart image in the commercial was an instant success.
She soon became a a household name and her popularity was widely considered due to her friendly and approachable demeanour rather than the statuesque looks of her contemporaries.
Her popularity made her a South Korean actress appearing in various soap operas and movies, whether comical or sad, in most part were characters the audience could easily relate to.

They were all successful, notably 1990 "My Love My Bride" and 1992 "Jealousy and Promise".

Her growing popularity opened up her past history of poverty stricken teenage years became known to the public and this added to her popularity as a success story of hard work coming to fruition.
Her personal image along with the roles she played won her the title ‘People’s star’.

Her popularity stumbled twice during her career.
In 1994, her manager Bae Byung Soo was stabbed to death by her driver and the second was her divorce to the baseball player Cho Sung Min in September 2004.
Both times she made her way into the hearts of her fans by giving fervent performances in her roles. 1997 "You and I" and 2005 "My Rosy Life".

In her last TV drama 2008, coincidentally titled, "Last Scandal", she played the character of a divorcee who wins the hearts of 2 handsome successful brothers and eventually marries one of them.
The show was a huge success and a new word ‘Joomarella’, a combination of the words ajooma (middle aged woman) and Cinderella came to popular use to describe a divorcee who regains love and a happy life.

Pressure was mounting on her to be always at the top of stardom and the confidence in her as a single mother.

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In late September 2008, actor Ahn Jae Hwan, one of her best friend’s husband, committed suicide due to failing business and high volume of debt and Choi was rumoured to have lent a large sum of money to Ahn which spread rapidly through online reports and blogs.

It was a shock to Choi. The police reported the rumour to be false.
On the day of Choi’s death, all 3 major TV stations spent a third of their news hour on covering the story.
4 days after her death, a representative at the National Assembly suggested a new law to prevent ‘cyber-insulting’ which for a short period had the nick name of ‘Choi Jin Shil Law’.

Choi Jin Shil committed suicide October 2, 2008 at the age of 39.

Although there have been reports of Choi’s suffering from depression since her divorce with Cho, this rumour was favoured and as the key factor leading up to her suicide.

After the actress-sister, Choi Jin-shil's suicide, Korean actor Choi Jin-young, 39, was found dead on March 29 in an apparent suicide too.

The actor was battling depression and sunk into a prolonged spell following his sister’s death.

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Lee Eun-ju, who was born on 22 December 1980, studied piano for much of her youth, but found work as a model. 

Later, she was offered roles in various TV dramas. 

Her first film debut was in 1999 "Rainbow Trout". Her first lead role 2000 "Virgin Stripped Bare By Her Bachelors", where she gave one of the most memorable performances in all Hong Kong films. 
However, her later career was a flop at the box-office, plus a key role in the record-breaking Korean War film "Taeguki".

In late 2004 "The Scarlett Letter" in which this was to be her final role, it was screened as the Closing Film at the 2004 Pusan International Film Festival. 

Tragically Lee Eun-ju committed suicide on 22 February 2005 at her apartment in Bundang, Seongnam, a few days after her graduation from Dankook University. 
She had been suffering from depression for a year and had sought treatment at a hospital but her family blamed the suicide on severe bouts of depression, mental illness and insomia due to the nude scene she had done in "The Scarlet Letter". 
She had apparently tried to slit her wrist before hanging herself.

She left a suicide note scrawled in blood, in which she wrote, "Mom, I am sorry and I love you."
A separate note said, "I wanted to do too much. Even though I live, I'm not really alive. I don't want anyone to be disappointed. It's nice having money... I wanted to make money." 

The news of her death prompted a massive outpouring grief of fellow actors and filmmakers. 
She is remembered for her talent, intelligence and passion that made her stand out among the actress of her generations.
Hundreds of her fellow actors and entertainers attended her funeral.


Lee Eun-ju's friends and colleagues have held memorials for her every year since her passing. She was cremated and enshrined in a crypt at Goyang.

Lee Eun-ju's Suicide Note: (translated)

"Mom, I love you. I'll protect you. 

I wanted to work so much. I wasn't doing work on purpose; 
i couldnt, 
but the ppl around me couldnt recognize and understand it...
how could they know how i feel if they're not me..."

"Mom, when i think about it, i know i have to live, 
but even when im living i'm not. I'll protect you. 
I'll always protect you right next to you. 


I didn't want to hate anyone. I tried to handle it myself..."


"No..I have no feelings...I'm not me..
I wanted to go back a year from now. 
I prayed everyday, but it was just a foolish wanting.
If it was a year ago, I'd be able to live like me."

"I'm relieved that I saw dad's face 2 days ago.

Money is not everything, but it's such a hard life because of it. 
I don't like money either."

"My one and only big brother, 
you were way better and talented than me 
but I'm sorry because you didn't get the love. 
I bet there were many disappointing times because of me. 


I wanted to go to many places and wanted to do many things. 
I wanted to eat many things too, 
but living in a house with the family..living in 1 house, 
I thought we could've lived happily by doing what we wanted to do 
and going wherever we wanted to go.."

"The person I love the most, mom, 
I wanted to make you happy...I'll protect you."

"The last talk on the phone, big sis, 
I was thankful, sorry, and it was hard. 


The person that told me today's the day. 
I thank you.

The people that loved me when I couldn't do anything, 
I wanted to meet and laugh together, 
I didn't avoid on purpose. 


I know it is important, 
but I'm sorry I cant agree anymore." ;(**