Showing posts with label neighbourhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neighbourhood. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

These Girls' Fate?

Despite Rapid Growth, India Lets Its Girls Die
By MUNEEZA NAQVI, Associated Press

In this photo taken Wednesday, April 13, 2011, ...


MORENA, India – The room is large and airy, the stone floors clean and cool — a welcome respite from the afternoon sun. Until your eyes take in the horror that it holds. Ten severely malnourished children — nine of them girls.
The starving girls in this hospital ward include a 21-month-old with arms and legs the size of twigs and an emaciated 1-year-old with huge, vacant eyes. Without urgent medical care, most will not live to see their next birthday.
They point to a painful reality revealed in India's most recent census: Despite a booming economy and big cities full of luxury cars and glittering malls, the country is failing its girls.
Early results show India has 914 girls under age 6 for every 1,000 boys. A decade ago, many were horrified when the ratio was 927 to 1,000.
The discrimination happens through abortions of female fetuses and sheer neglect of young girls, despite years of high-profile campaigns to address the issue. So serious is the problem that it's illegal for medical personnel to reveal the gender of an unborn fetus, although evidence suggests the ban is widely circumvented.
"My mother-in-law says a boy is necessary," says Sanju, holding her severely malnourished 9-month-old daughter in her lap in the hospital. She doesn't admit to deliberately starving the girl but only shrugs her own thin shoulders when asked why her daughter is so sick.
She will try again for a son in a year or two, she says.
Part of the reason Indians favor sons is the enormous expense in marrying off girls. Families often go into debt arranging marriages and paying elaborate dowries. A boy, on the other hand, will one day bring home a bride and dowry. Hindu custom also dictates that only sons can light their parents' funeral pyres.
But it's not simply that girls are more expensive for impoverished families. The census data shows that the worst offenders are the relatively wealthy northern states of Punjab and Haryana.
In Morena, a sun-baked, largely rural district in the heart of India, the numbers are especially grim. This census showed that only 825 girls for every 1,000 boys in the district made it to their sixth birthdays, down from an already troubling 829 a decade ago.
Though abortion is allowed in India, the country banned revealing the gender of unborn fetuses in 1994 in an attempt to halt sex-selective abortions. Every few years, federal and state governments announce new incentives — from free meals to free education — to encourage people to take care of their girls.
In Morena, a Madhya Pradesh state government program offers poor families with one or two daughters a few thousand rupees (a few hundred dollars) for every few years of schooling, and more than 100,000 rupees ($2,250) when they graduate high school.
But while a handful of Indian women have attained some of the highest positions in politics and business — from late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi — a deep-rooted cultural preference for sons remains.
Even the government has accepted that it has failed to save millions of little girls.
"Whatever measures that have been put in over the last 40 years have not had any impact," India's Home Secretary G.K. Pillai said last month when announcing the census numbers.
In Morena's homes, villages, schools and hospitals lie some of the answers to why the country keeps losing girls.
In the district hospital's maternity ward, a wrinkled old woman walks out holding a just-born girl wrapped in a dirty rag like an unwelcome present. Munni, who uses only one name, is clearly unhappy. Her daughter-in-law has just given birth to her sixth girl in 12 years of marriage.
Will the daughter-in-law go through another pregnancy?
"Everyone wants boys. A boy takes care of you in your old age," Munni says.
As a mother-in-law, Munni will likely have enormous control over her son's wife, influencing how many children she has and nudging or bullying her to bear a son.
The hospital insists it strictly obeys the law against using sonograms to reveal the gender of a fetus, says R.C. Bandil, who heads the facility. The sex ratio at birth at his hospital is as high as 940-945, he says. "Why is it 825 for the 0-6 group?" he asks.
Part of the answer lies in his own hospital's malnutrition ward.
"Women cry when they have girls," nurse Lalitha Gujar says as she spoons powdered coconut, peanuts and sesame seeds into bowls of fortified milk to nourish the tiny children.
All nine mothers of the sickly infant girls say they want sons — to look after them when they get old, because their sisters-in-law have more sons, because their mothers-in-law demand male children.
"If a woman has a boy, for a month she will be looked after. If she has a girl, she'll be back in the fields in three days," says Sudha Misra, a local social worker.
An exhausted mother who faces neglect, poor nutrition and blame for producing a daugher is likely to pass on that neglect, social workers say. For an infant, that can mean the difference between life and death.
"A malnourished child will get sick and the chances of death are very high," Bandil says.
Males get first priority. "First the husband is seated and fed, then the brothers and then whatever is left is fed to the girls," says Bandil. "If there are two mangoes in the house, first the boy will get to eat."
For the very poor, the pressures to bear sons result in mistreatment of both the baby girl and mother. And rich women are not immune to this mistreatment if they fail to bear male children.
For those with money, it's often about being able to locate a radiologist who, for a cost, will break the law and reveal the sex of the fetus, or being able to fly abroad for such tests.
A 2007 study by the rights group ActionAid India found that gender ratios were worse in urban areas, and that sex-selective abortions were more common among wealthier and higher-caste people who could afford ways to learn the gender of fetuses.
The law is not enough to combat "a society that values boys over girls," says Ravinder Kaur, a professor of sociology at New Delhi's Indian Institute of Technology.
"Laws are good because they may act as a deterrent" she says, but sex-selective abortions continue underground because "people find more devious ways."

Source: News. Yahoo - Wednesday, May 4, 2011

******

Virginia Girl Found Eating Herself In Cage In Mobile Home; parents Brian and Shannon Gore Charged
By Michael Sheridan

Brian Gore, 29, and Shannon Gore, 25, face child abuse and murder charges.
Gloucester Sheriff's Dept.
Brian Gore, 29, and Shannon Gore, 25, face child abuse and murder charges.
 
A young girl was found caged and attempting to eat herself in a mobile home in Virginia, and cops say her parents are responsible.
The malnourished girl, believed to be either 5 or 6, was discovered in a crib that was converted into a makeshift cage after police arrived at the home in Gloucester County to investigate a burglary last week.
The girl's parents, Brian and Shannon Gore, were arrested and charged with felony child abuse. The mother was also charged with attempted capital murder.
However, the gruesome twosome now faces first-degree murder charges after the remains of what authorities believe to be another child were found buried outside their mobile home.
"I've done this for 20 years, and I've never seen anything like this in my life," Gloucester Sheriff's Maj. Darrell Warren said.
A month-old baby boy was also found in the home, but was in good condition. Both he and the older girl are now in the care of the county Department of Social Services.
The horrific find came as police investigated a robbery on April 17.


A child's remains were found buried outside the Gores' home. (WTKR)

A nearby homeowner reported his house was broken into and claimed gold bullion, a vacuum cleaner, a passport, $2,000 in cash and other items had been stolen, according to a police report.
Investigators trailed the bullion to an auction house, which claimed to have bought the gold from 25-year-old Shannon Gore.
Authorities arrived at her mobile home in Gloucester with a search warrant when they made the shocking discovery.
The girl's blond-hair was matted and filled with knots. She wore only a diaper and t-shirt and was eating flakes of dried skin on her body.
Brian Gore, 29, reportedly told police the girl had been kept in the cage since the summer.
"It was horrific. I don't know what else to say," Lt. Scott Little of the Sheriff's Department told Virginia's Daily Press on Friday.
"They seemed like nice people," neighbor Tim Hudnall told the newspaper. He noted he had seen the baby boy, but never saw a girl with the Gores in the six years they've been neighbors.
"He was really a nice guy," Brian Gore's ex-girlfriend, Sandy, told WTKR 3 News in Norfolk. "He went to church and everything."
Deputies discovered the child's remains while digging under and around a shed at the mobile home Friday evening. The age, gender and identity of the remains are not known, pending an examination by the state Medical Examiner's Office.
The Gores are being held in prison as authorities determine how the child died. An autopsy report by the state medical examiner is pending.

Source: New York Daily News - Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

'Susuk', Charm Needles, The Cause?

When My Children were small, I used to bring them around the neighbourhood before nightfall.

Most of the time, We end up the roundings at My immediate neighbour's house, a midwife, to exhaust the children, let them run around with others, before they retreat for the night.

Most of the time, an elderly woman, in her 80s I supposed, would join us.
She had a very rough and manly voice, always with 'telekung' or praying garment in hand.

I did not know her well, but she did remind Me...
"Not to be surprised, if after her death, she will turn into loitering and wondering around 'jerangkung' or skeleton."

I did not probe why she said that, she, being a total stranger to Me.
I was 'very blur' too at that time (even now), to all these unfamiliar happenings.

After a few appearances at the midwife's house, she was absent for a very long time.
It aroused My curiosity.

As was told by the midwife's daughter, who taught Me a lot about life, the elderly woman had a fall while in the bathroom.
She was sent to the hospital, where upon x-ray, 44 needles were detected.

Nurses at the hospital had talked to her adopted son, to find the person who inserted the needles into her, to remove the objects from her.

The son knew that his mother had tried in vain for years, to locate the whereabout of the said person.
The last time she heard about him, he had passed away.

She turned to others to remove the 44 'susuk' or charm needles, but all methods were fruitless.

She started to think about GOD.
She then turned to HIM instead.

Never mind her old age.
She was not ashamed to go around, asking people to teach her to pray.

So, the midwife's daughter taught her.
But... there is one thing that dampened the lively spirit.
She could not say ALLAH.

Her tongue stiffened, no matter how hard she had tried.
No wonder the 'telekung', the praying garment, she brought along.

She was never in the midwife's house, whenever I saw her.
She could not enter the house, too hot for her.
The midwife's daughter said so.
There are frames of verses from Al-Qur'an hanging around the house.

She could not even enter her son's house, although she stayed with his family.
So, he built her a small hut, nearby the external bathroom.

Bathing used to be her past-time activities.
She liked water so much, as her body was always feeling the heat...

******

In her younger days, in the 50s and 60s, she used to be a prostitute, serving Englishmen stationed in Sembawang.

Sometime, she brought the men home (or they volunteered to send her home?).
She slept in between the two men, on the queen-sized bed.
The midwife's children, all admitted, used to peep into her room.

They claimed, her husband was a cuckold.
He stayed home most of the time, never stopping his wife spending her nights in Sembawang.
The husband was rarely seen out of his house.

Those were the days when water consumption in Johor needed to be taken from the well.
The wife, the stronger being, used to carry two-pail loads, many times over, balancing them with a wood on her shoulder, for her husband's usage.

Yes, she performed her duties well.
She stocked water at home, washed and cooked for the husband before she went to 'work' in Singapore.

She dressed well, corseted herself under see through beautiful 'kebaya', a traditional blouse-dress from sheer cloth, and expensive 'batik lepas' or seemless batik cloth.

The midwife's children never missed to see her all made-up for 'work', although the husband, they said, never lifted her head, regardless she was around or not.

******

The elderly woman was sick for quite sometime.
I did not pay her a visit, not too sure, why?

When we were together at the midwife's verandah, she did not say much, except kept staring at Me.

Occasionally, I would throw in a word or two, seeing the difficulties she faced with her tongue, in saying out ALLAH.
But whenever I saw the regret on her face, I often backed out.
I admired her perseverance, though.

But, she said, she liked the fluency in Me just saying the word 'ALLAH'.
That stopped Me altogether.
Not too sure, why?

******

After a thorough search, the son found one traditional healer.

He just used 'pisang emas', not too sure the English word.
Is it golden banana?
Pisang is banana, and emas is gold.
So, golden banana is the closest translation.

One by one, the small 'pisang emas' was rolled over her body.
The 'susuk' or charm needles stuck to those bananas.

After all the needles were removed from the elderly woman's body, her health deteriorated.
Her condition became more critical.
She passed away few days later, in the small hut built by her son, nearby the external bathroom.

I did not pay a visit to the elderly woman when she was sick for quite sometime.
Not too sure, why?
And I did not see her for the last time, when she passed away.
Not too sure, why too?

But I am very sure that she did not become a loitering and wondering around 'jerangkung' or skeleton.

To her very accepted soul and all those who had passed away, Al-Faatihah... 

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Reality In Denial

7 out of 10 diabetic patients in Singapore are Malays. It's the reality we are facing now.

Is it due to lifestyle? How about when a preschool toddler getting it? - The toddler's mother would shed tears comforting the child when the need for an ice-cream was not met.
The parents tried hard to reward sweets only on her birthdays.
The child has no lifestyle at all.

Facing reality is easier said than done...

An elderly lady said it's black magic.
She knows the culprit who cast the spell on her. There's 'something' placed in-front of her house.
I assured no such thing would happen to her.
Being the nearest neighbour, I would be the first witness to see such incident should it occur at all.

When she mentioned she was under the spell of one of her neighbour, I have nothing more to say - I think I know almost everybody in the neighbourhood.
They respect her as an elderly lady.

Is one of the neighbour she referred to, is me? Sigh, sigh, sigh...
I have nothing more to say. I have my respect for her as an elderly lady too...

I simply stop paying a visit to a friend's friend.
After one of her leg was amputated thigh high, her blame to God for robbing away her family life has never ceased.
Her blame to God favouring the fits continue...

But when she blamed God for favouring me over her, I simply stop the visit.
Don't blame God when we don't search our inner-self...

Last week, I paid another visit to a neighbour whom I've only known her by her name.
I've never spoken to her before.
I've seen her passing by my house but we didn't acknowledge each other.

But when she asked for forgiveness from everybody in the neighbourhood,
I have to see her.
When she asked those who visit her to convey the message to anybody they will meet,
I have to acknowledge that.

Her health has deteriorated and she knows her days are numbered.
She has prepared her inner-self afterall...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Aidilfitri And The Kelantanese

Today is the 29th of Syawal, the last day of Aidilfitri.

Today I join in the marhaban group.
Around 40 of us went to 9 houses welcoming each and everyone for Hari Raya. Alas, it's the last day of Hari Raya.

It's a gathering like this that brings me close to the neighbours.
How faces have changed - Many hails from Kelantan - Known for being industrious, the men would work in Singapore earning the strong dollars.
The womenfolks are expert cloth-traders.
They would commute to their hometown for supply.

With sound finance, they're never short of fund in buying houses.
Thus, a strong Kelantanese community was formed in the shortest time.

Just last year at events like this, I could communicate with everybody.
But today, I can only smile as a reply to their questions.
Next year?
I have to learn to understand them.

I end my Syawal with the hope that the friendliness among neighbours will be maintained as was maintained before. Amin.