The Maid - Boyfriending @ Geylang

Nora*'s soft laughter as she talked, was to hide her blushing face.
She regretted hiding the paper that My Elder Sister was searching.
But she was ashamed to let My Sister read it.

There was a picture and story of an Indonesian maid and her boyfriend.
She felt ashamed looking at it, without even reading the paper.
She was ashamed because it involved her nationality, and it revolved around the work she is doing, being a domestic worker.

I did not know which paper and who was Nora talking about.
In My head, it was because of boyfriend issue that led Me to want her to follow Me to City Plaza.
It was not exactly because of remittance.

The second time she remitted some money, it was My Elder Sister who did it for her.
With that money, the mother had bought storage for water for Singaporeans' (???) usage, when they will be at her house soon.

******

Stories of maids had been hogging headlines lately.

27-year old Indrani arrived in Singapore last year, in March.

In July, she ran away from her employer and prostituted herself to earn money.

In October, she discovered her pregnancy without knowing who the father was.

She dug a 10cm hole to bury her newborn, his umbilical cord attached, on April 18 in Eunos Crescent in a rooftop garden.

Her baby's mouth, alive when found, was stuffed with mud and dried leaves.

The baby is now under foster care.

She was arrested near Eunos MRT Station on April 24 after overstaying here for 273 days.

She was jailed for 10 weeks and fined S$2,000 for abandoning her newborn baby.

****** ****** ******

Ruliyawati, married with a son, entered Singapore in July 2010.

A month later, Md Repon Mostafa befriended her.

Her body  was discovered on Monday morning, in a 2-meter water tank atop the 15-storey Housing Development Board block of flats in Woodlands, serving residents of  Block 686B, Woodlands Drive 73 on May 16.

The 27-year old Bangladeshi cleaner Md Repon was charged with her murder between 7:10 a.m. and 9:54 a.m.

****** ****** ******

An Indonesian domestic worker was about to finish her two-year contract.

She was asked to continue her service.

The four and two-year old toddlers she looked after, are too attached with her.

The maid laid down her term for extension.

She needs off days, which the employer agreed.

The employer received a police call at her working place to pick her maid at the police station.

Her domestic worker was caught with a Bangladeshi man at the beach not far from her house.

The employer was shown compromising and intimate photos of the maid with her boyfriend.

The maid gave the worst shock to the employer last February - Her two small kids were locked at home.

Just the two of them, to fend for themselves.

****** ****** ****** 

29-year old Anis Dwi Rianawati had told her employer that she was pregnant and would work for another two to three months before quitting.

A week later, she was missing from her bedroom at about 8am.

Her wallet, jewellery and some notes was on her bed.

It was a suicide notes.

The pregnant Indonesian maid had jumped from her employer's flat through the 18th-floor kitchen window on October 24, 2010.

Her body was found on a second-floor parapet shortly afterwards.

Her 45-year old Malaysian married boyfriend refused to stop seeing another girl in Batam. 

****** ****** ******

Another Bangladeshi worker, 35-year old Kamarul Hasan Abdul Quddus, met 25-year old Yulia Afriyanti at a social gathering in 2005.

They became intimate a year later in January 2007.

In September, she told her employers and friends that she would be marrying Kamrul in Indonesia.

But a month later, the marriage was called off as Kamrul was already married in Bangladesh with two children.

Early October, a Filipino construction worker, 25-year old Joseph Guerzon Corpuza, was given Yulia's number by his close friend, Aunt Annabelle.

He called her and they made plan to meet on Sunday, October 14.

She told him that her boyfriend had returned to Bangladesh.

Their relationship blossomed, became intimate, planned to marry but she never broke up with Kamrul.

Joseph would sometimes travel from Boon Lay to Grange Heights to meet her when she walked her employer's dog at 8 pm every night.

They had intimate relationship in November despite Yulia's fear of getting pregnant again.

Her previous pregnancy was aborted without knowing who the father was.

When Joseph saw the last of Yulia on Dec 9, she told him she and Kamrul Hasan were getting married in January.

On the evening of December 15, she called Joseph telling him she was going to Changi Airport with Kamrul to welcome his mother and brother.

He then tried to contact her many times but failed to do so.

When he finally managed to phone Yulia, a police officer answered, saying his former girlfriend was dead and that the police wanted to talk to him.

******

In mid December, upon Kamarul's return from Bangladesh, he met Yulia.

He then returned to his dormitory in Kaki Bukit but at 11.30pm, he took a bus to his worksite.

Less than eight hours later, a construction worker found Yulia's body in the cardboard box.

His fingerprints were found at the crime scene and DNA test showed they had sexual relationship within the 12 hours before she was found dead.

He was found guilty of strangling his girlfriend on December 16, 2007.

Her naked body was found at about 9.50am, in a big 1m long and 3/4m wide cardboard box in the bomb shelter of a third-storey unit at a condominium construction site in Queensway, near Holland Road, where he worked.

Police found Yulia's phone and jewellery in his Kaki Bukit dormitory locker when he was arrested on December 19.

He was sentenced to death in early January 2010.

****** ****** ******

24-year old Umi Umiroh was plagued by dreams of a crying baby in her employer's semi-detached house along Hillside Drive, a month into her job in July 2008. 

She told her friends about her dreams whom she usually met at the old age home, Ling Kwang Home in Serangoon Gardens. 

She took her employer's mother for therapy sessions twice a week.

The friends said it was the ghost of the previous maid's baby.

Kirun had confessed to them she had secretly given birth to a seven months baby girl in the toilet of her employer's house. 

She did not know what to do, so she just killed the baby, and buried her in the backyard.

While trimming grass in the garden later in theday, Umi smelled something foul. 

She related her fears to her employer of what her friends told earlier. 

A police report was made and the next day 9am, the police with four sniffer dogs, spent three hours in the garden. 

Then they digging up something buried about 15cm deep into the soil. 

Some small bones, born prematurely, wrapped with a yellow batik cloth, were recovered and analysed by the Health Science Authority.

Kirun, married with two children, was employed in June 2006, was always seen wearing loose-fitting batik dresses or oversized T-shirts.

Her main job was to take the employer's 82-year-old mother for physiotherapy sessions twice a week. 

They spent about seven hours from 8.30am to 3pm. 

Umi Umiroh arrived at Ms Goh's house on 6th June, spent two weeks with Kirun before she returned home on June 22.

Kirun, before her departure, had told Umi that she had at least two boyfriends in Singapore. 

She also told Umi about having aborted her three-month foetus, fathered by the Bangladeshi boyfriend.

Her Bangladeshi boyfriend gave her $10 each time they met.

Before she met the Bangladeshi, she was seeing a Myanmar national. 

She was able to meet them while waiting for the therapy sessions to end.

Three days before she left Singapore, she took Umi to meet her Bangladeshi boyfriend. 

He asked her to be his girlfriend after Kirun returned home.

****** 

I brought Nora to City Plaza to show her the popular hang-out for Indonesians on weekends.
It's Orchard Road's Lucky Plaza of the east. 

I wanted to show her how her folks are clothed, what some of her people are doing and behaving here - shopping, friending and boyfriending.
The partners are usually from Bangladesh.

But last Saturday afternoon, there were none to show her.
City Plaza was a desert, not a single maid's soul.
(to be continued)

'Obedient Wives' In Nepal

Rural Communities In Nepal Lack Family Planning Options, Awareness 

In Dhading, a district not far from Nepal’s capital city, one woman conceived more than 25 times in 30 years. Because of a lack of family planning awareness in rural communities, women have little say in the number of children they have, even if it jeopardizes their physical health. After a stranger heard about her case on the radio, he paid for a lifesaving operation. Today, she is an advocate for contraception and family planning awareness in rural Nepal.

by Kamala Gautam  

DHADING, NEPAL – Hem Kumari Chepang, 42, has given birth to more than 20 children during the last 30 years.

“Have as many children as you can,” she says her husband, Hari Chepang, 50, told her. “I will feed you [and the children], and [if you die in the process] I will take care of your cremation.”

The Chepangs are residents of Dhading, a district just 75 kilometers west of Kathmandu, the capital. In Kathmandu, thousands of people acquire family planning and maternal and child health care services every day. But Chepang says she has never been to the city, let alone obtained any of the family planning services there.

Orphaned as a child, Chepang married her husband 30 years ago at age 12. She says she was working as a housemaid and he, 20 at the time and also working as house help, promised to take care of her.

Within a year of their marriage, Chepang gave birth to her first child, which survived for only four months. She says she believed at the time that giving birth to one child after another – with some surviving and some not – was a natural phenomenon after marriage. In all, Chepang conceived 26 times.

“Some died in the womb, some within a few days of their birth and some after six months,” she says.

Only two of the babies Chepang has given birth to are alive today – a son and a daughter, who is deaf.

In addition to the multiple births, Chepang says that she often had no help during labor.

“One of my sons was positioned ectopically in the womb,” she says. “His hands came out first, and I tugged him out myself. The placenta followed, and I almost died with the pain.”

After her 23^rd child, she suffered from uterine prolapse, a condition when the uterus slips down from its normal position. She began to bleed regularly and suffer from dizziness and pain. But she continued to give birth. Her condition worsened, and her movement was limited to dragging herself to the toilet when necessary.

Chepang’s physical condition also kept her from helping her husband with the housework. She says her husband had to single-handedly take care of the cattle, the fields and the housework while Chepang watched helplessly.

Although Chepang’s case is not the norm in Nepal, the average number of children born by a single mother is still high in rural areas.

A lack of awareness of family planning options in rural communities often leads to more births than women say their bodies can withstand. The government and nongovernmental organizations, NGOs, here have started to disseminate family planning information to rural communities. But many women say that even with this knowledge, their families and cultural beliefs stand in the way of taking advantage of available options.

The total fertility rate, or births per woman, in Nepal fell from 6.3 in 1976 to 3.1 in 2006 because of campaigning and promotion of family planning, according to a 2009 report by the Family Planning Association of Nepal, FPAN, a national NGO. The contraceptive prevalence rate, the percentage of women or their partners using contraception, increased from 26 percent in 1996 to 44 percent in 2006, according to the latest Nepal Demographic and Health Survey, NDHS.  

But the FPAN report also notes that although the fertility rate in urban areas of Nepal has declined to two children for each set of parents, it is still high in rural areas. The contraceptive prevalence rate is also lower in rural areas than in urban areas.

Aswini Rana, an FPAN counselor, says that family planning is a challenge in rural areas.

“It is still a big challenge to effectively spread awareness of family planning in the rural, remote and socially backward societies of Nepal,” Rana says. “There is a dearth of family planning services, methods and devices at the health posts situated in the rural areas.” 

Chepang says that her husband once had to carry her for more than an hour to reach a health post. But she says the health post staff hesitated to touch her. Rana attributes this reluctance to the lack of necessary knowledge, skills and resources needed to handle such maternity health complications at rural health posts.

Chepang’s village is less than a three-hour drive from Kathmandu, with its myriad of hospitals and health facilities that promote family planning and provide care for pregnant women. Yet the lack of health services and awareness of family planning in Chepang’s community, the Chepangs, one of the most socially excluded and “backward” indigenous communities of Nepal, seems worlds away.

Although there has been a decline in unmet needs when it comes to family planning in Nepal, there is still a geographical disparity, according to the NDHS. Three-fourths of women in urban areas of Nepal said their needs were met, compared with less than two-thirds of women in rural areas.

But Dr. Kiran Regmi, director of the Family Health Division under the Department of Health Services, says Chepang’s case is an exception and that she is optimistic about the increasing awareness of family planning in Nepal.

“We have started to promote appropriate methods of family planning targeted towards those who do not understand and are hence averse to surgical measures of family planning,” Regmi says.   

Family planning services used to only be available in the Kathmandu Valley, according to the NDHS. But thanks to FPAN, the Nepal Family Planning and Maternal Child Health Project was established at government level in 1968 and has gradually expanded to cover all of Nepal’s districts since then.

Temporary methods, such as male condoms and contraceptive pills, are now available at national, regional, zonal and district hospitals; health care centers; and health posts and sub-health posts; according to the NDHS. But more long-term services, such as Norplant implants, IUD insertions and sterilization, are only available in certain districts.

Sagar Dahal, the Family Health Division’s senior public health administrator, says that the governmental department has started to work on guidelines for how to make family planning services more available in rural areas, especially among indigenous groups. But he says this will take time.

“This will take about six to seven months, and the government plans to take the rural family planning program ahead on the basis of those guidelines,” he says.

But women say that even when they do become aware of family planning options, many times cultural beliefs and family members stand in the way.

One mother, Sumitra Pulami Magar, 33, of Balajor, a village in southeastern Nepal, says that she has been using a temporary contraceptive, an injection that she must receive every three months, for the past four years. But her husband, Balkrishna Pulami Magar, says they can’t tell his mother, who objects to family planning.

“After the first two children, I had said we must take permanent measures of family planning, but my mother was not happy with the decision,” he says. “After that, we had two more children and the responsibilities also increased, and my wife and I decided to start on the contraceptive measures without informing my mother.”

The radio is the most popular outlet for family planning messages in rural areas, with televisions, billboards, and newspapers and magazines much less common than in urban areas, according to the NDHS. But still, family members and communities disapprove.

Sarita Tamang, 27, from the same district as Chepang, says her body is tired after giving birth to three daughters and that she learned from radio announcements that contraceptives could prevent her from having more children. But she says that women in her village, who usually deliver their babies at home, are too shy and embarrassed to go to the local health post to obtain contraceptives. Plus, she says her husband still yearns for a male heir.

“What can I do?” she asks. “My husband has said that he needs a son anyhow.”

Chepang says that she also learned about an operation that can stop future pregnancies on the radio. But she says that when she asked her husband to take her to the city to get the operation, he told her that showing her private parts to others was shameful.

Chepang resigned herself to immobility until a stranger got involved after he heard Chepang’s story on the radio, thanks to a youth from her village. The listener, Kiran Gautam, assistant inspector general of the police, contacted the radio station and said he wanted to pay for Chepang to have the operation. 

“When I heard about her condition, I felt very sorry for her,” Gautam says. “I immediately called up the radio station and made arrangements for her treatment.”

He says her story made him realize that women in Nepal deserve more respect.

“Seeing a woman, who is barely 50, in such a state and knowing how she was compelled to lead this life of pain, I realized that the status of women in Nepal is still very lamentable,” he says.

Thanks to Gautam's support, Chepang’s uterus was surgically removed in a hospital in a neighboring district last year. She now leads a healthy life and is able to go about her daily activities.

by Michelle Finotto

"I had given myself up for dead. "

-Hem Kumari Chepang, conceived 26 children

”I had given myself up for dead and never believed that I could lead a normal life ever again,” Chepang says, smiling. “I feel like I have been given a new lease to life by God himself.”

Chepang now does her part to promote family planning by advising younger women in her village to not bear too many children.

“Sasu-aama [mother-in-law] has advised me not to have more than two children,” Chepang’s daughter-in-law, Sharmila, says shyly.

Source: Global Press Institute - Tuesday, April 26, 2011

These Girls' Fate?

Despite Rapid Growth, India Lets Its Girls Die
By MUNEEZA NAQVI, Associated Press

MORENA, India – The room is large and airy, the stone floors clean and cool — a welcome respite from the afternoon sun. Until your eyes take in the horror that it holds. Ten severely malnourished children — nine of them girls.
The starving girls in this hospital ward include a 21-month-old with arms and legs the size of twigs and an emaciated 1-year-old with huge, vacant eyes. Without urgent medical care, most will not live to see their next birthday.
They point to a painful reality revealed in India's most recent census: Despite a booming economy and big cities full of luxury cars and glittering malls, the country is failing its girls.
Early results show India has 914 girls under age 6 for every 1,000 boys. A decade ago, many were horrified when the ratio was 927 to 1,000.
The discrimination happens through abortions of female fetuses and sheer neglect of young girls, despite years of high-profile campaigns to address the issue. So serious is the problem that it's illegal for medical personnel to reveal the gender of an unborn fetus, although evidence suggests the ban is widely circumvented.
"My mother-in-law says a boy is necessary," says Sanju, holding her severely malnourished 9-month-old daughter in her lap in the hospital. She doesn't admit to deliberately starving the girl but only shrugs her own thin shoulders when asked why her daughter is so sick.
She will try again for a son in a year or two, she says.
Part of the reason Indians favor sons is the enormous expense in marrying off girls. Families often go into debt arranging marriages and paying elaborate dowries. A boy, on the other hand, will one day bring home a bride and dowry. Hindu custom also dictates that only sons can light their parents' funeral pyres.
But it's not simply that girls are more expensive for impoverished families. The census data shows that the worst offenders are the relatively wealthy northern states of Punjab and Haryana.
In Morena, a sun-baked, largely rural district in the heart of India, the numbers are especially grim. This census showed that only 825 girls for every 1,000 boys in the district made it to their sixth birthdays, down from an already troubling 829 a decade ago.
Though abortion is allowed in India, the country banned revealing the gender of unborn fetuses in 1994 in an attempt to halt sex-selective abortions. Every few years, federal and state governments announce new incentives — from free meals to free education — to encourage people to take care of their girls.
In Morena, a Madhya Pradesh state government program offers poor families with one or two daughters a few thousand rupees (a few hundred dollars) for every few years of schooling, and more than 100,000 rupees ($2,250) when they graduate high school.
But while a handful of Indian women have attained some of the highest positions in politics and business — from late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi — a deep-rooted cultural preference for sons remains.
Even the government has accepted that it has failed to save millions of little girls.
"Whatever measures that have been put in over the last 40 years have not had any impact," India's Home Secretary G.K. Pillai said last month when announcing the census numbers.
In Morena's homes, villages, schools and hospitals lie some of the answers to why the country keeps losing girls.
In the district hospital's maternity ward, a wrinkled old woman walks out holding a just-born girl wrapped in a dirty rag like an unwelcome present. Munni, who uses only one name, is clearly unhappy. Her daughter-in-law has just given birth to her sixth girl in 12 years of marriage.
Will the daughter-in-law go through another pregnancy?
"Everyone wants boys. A boy takes care of you in your old age," Munni says.
As a mother-in-law, Munni will likely have enormous control over her son's wife, influencing how many children she has and nudging or bullying her to bear a son.
The hospital insists it strictly obeys the law against using sonograms to reveal the gender of a fetus, says R.C. Bandil, who heads the facility. The sex ratio at birth at his hospital is as high as 940-945, he says. "Why is it 825 for the 0-6 group?" he asks.
Part of the answer lies in his own hospital's malnutrition ward.
"Women cry when they have girls," nurse Lalitha Gujar says as she spoons powdered coconut, peanuts and sesame seeds into bowls of fortified milk to nourish the tiny children.
All nine mothers of the sickly infant girls say they want sons — to look after them when they get old, because their sisters-in-law have more sons, because their mothers-in-law demand male children.
"If a woman has a boy, for a month she will be looked after. If she has a girl, she'll be back in the fields in three days," says Sudha Misra, a local social worker.
An exhausted mother who faces neglect, poor nutrition and blame for producing a daugher is likely to pass on that neglect, social workers say. For an infant, that can mean the difference between life and death.
"A malnourished child will get sick and the chances of death are very high," Bandil says.
Males get first priority. "First the husband is seated and fed, then the brothers and then whatever is left is fed to the girls," says Bandil. "If there are two mangoes in the house, first the boy will get to eat."
For the very poor, the pressures to bear sons result in mistreatment of both the baby girl and mother. And rich women are not immune to this mistreatment if they fail to bear male children.
For those with money, it's often about being able to locate a radiologist who, for a cost, will break the law and reveal the sex of the fetus, or being able to fly abroad for such tests.
A 2007 study by the rights group ActionAid India found that gender ratios were worse in urban areas, and that sex-selective abortions were more common among wealthier and higher-caste people who could afford ways to learn the gender of fetuses.
The law is not enough to combat "a society that values boys over girls," says Ravinder Kaur, a professor of sociology at New Delhi's Indian Institute of Technology.
"Laws are good because they may act as a deterrent" she says, but sex-selective abortions continue underground because "people find more devious ways."

Source: News. Yahoo - Wednesday, May 4, 2011

******

Virginia Girl Found Eating Herself In Cage In Mobile Home; parents Brian and Shannon Gore Charged
By Michael Sheridan

Gloucester Sheriff's Dept.

Brian Gore, 29, and Shannon Gore, 25, face child abuse and murder charges.

 

A young girl was found caged and attempting to eat herself in a mobile home in Virginia, and cops say her parents are responsible.
The malnourished girl, believed to be either 5 or 6, was discovered in a crib that was converted into a makeshift cage after police arrived at the home in Gloucester County to investigate a burglary last week.
The girl's parents, Brian and Shannon Gore, were arrested and charged with felony child abuse. The mother was also charged with attempted capital murder.
However, the gruesome twosome now faces first-degree murder charges after the remains of what authorities believe to be another child were found buried outside their mobile home.
"I've done this for 20 years, and I've never seen anything like this in my life," Gloucester Sheriff's Maj. Darrell Warren said.
A month-old baby boy was also found in the home, but was in good condition. Both he and the older girl are now in the care of the county Department of Social Services.
The horrific find came as police investigated a robbery on April 17.


A child's remains were found buried outside the Gores' home. (WTKR)

A nearby homeowner reported his house was broken into and claimed gold bullion, a vacuum cleaner, a passport, $2,000 in cash and other items had been stolen, according to a police report.
Investigators trailed the bullion to an auction house, which claimed to have bought the gold from 25-year-old Shannon Gore.
Authorities arrived at her mobile home in Gloucester with a search warrant when they made the shocking discovery.
The girl's blond-hair was matted and filled with knots. She wore only a diaper and t-shirt and was eating flakes of dried skin on her body.
Brian Gore, 29, reportedly told police the girl had been kept in the cage since the summer.
"It was horrific. I don't know what else to say," Lt. Scott Little of the Sheriff's Department told Virginia's Daily Press on Friday.
"They seemed like nice people," neighbor Tim Hudnall told the newspaper. He noted he had seen the baby boy, but never saw a girl with the Gores in the six years they've been neighbors.
"He was really a nice guy," Brian Gore's ex-girlfriend, Sandy, told WTKR 3 News in Norfolk. "He went to church and everything."
Deputies discovered the child's remains while digging under and around a shed at the mobile home Friday evening. The age, gender and identity of the remains are not known, pending an examination by the state Medical Examiner's Office.
The Gores are being held in prison as authorities determine how the child died. An autopsy report by the state medical examiner is pending.

Source: New York Daily News - Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Maid - Excessive Baggage + + (3)

I was at the maid agency three Saturdays ago with Suri*.
No, not to send her back, but I needed her feedback for a maid whom she can work with, for My Mother, who is closing in to 80-years old.

Although doctor gave My Mother a clean bill of health, but normal mobility is sometime handicapped.
Age is fast catching up on her.
Now, she had decided to stay at any of Her Children's houses.
But Her Daughters, except Me, will be in school in the day.
So, the only option is to get a minder to accompany Her.
The Grandchildren are either working or in schools too.

After the selected biodatas of maids willing to look after the aged, I passed to Suri.
She rejected all, except one. 

"Kenapa yang itu saja?" I asked Suri.

"Saya pilih yang dari Demak atau Pati saja. Biar Nyai senang bicara."

Brilliant girl!
I had never think of it.
My Mother's Maternal side from Pati and her father from Demak, both in Central Java.
It just so happened that Suri is from Demak too.

Alas, the maid she selected, from Pati, is still in Jakarta.
She will only be available in a month's time, that is, if she pass her test.

There was a transfer maid from Pati, but the first impression said, better not ask her to work.
Her weak and pale look said she should be having a long, good rest. 
True enough, she was returned for the third time, all being sick while at work.

Very rare can we find a maid from Demak, being the province having enough for all, according to the agency's boss, Madam Sarah*

A month, too long the wait.
For reasons known to us, Madam Sarah would also prefer us to have a maid from Central Java too.
We had no other choice but to end up choosing another available transfer maid from Surabaya.

If given the choice, the maid from Surabaya will not want to work for the elderly.
Willing or not to be with elderly, the feeling can be nurtured, said Suri.

Before Suri entered into My Sister's household, she knew she will not want if asked to work for elderly too. But because of filial piety, nature took its course.
Before she realised, great concern for My Mother developed naturally in Suri*.

******

"Ini Suri*?" Asked Madam Sarah.  

"Ya, Bu," she replied.

Madam Sarah had failed to recognise Suri, one of her maids, after a lapse of five years.
She realised the total transformation of the girl since five years ago.
She does not look like a maid, nor look Indonesian.
She looks 100% Singaporean, with ordinary youngster's dressing.

Seeing Suri had made her day, said Madam Sarah.
The sight of Suri that night assured her of a good night sleep.

Earlier, for the whole day, Madam Sarah was plagued with a problematic maid.
The whole day she was attending to a maid, whom she said, pushed away good luck.
The maid was about to finish her two-year contract when she was asked to continue her service.
The two toddlers she looked after, four and two-years old, are too attached with her.

The maid laid down her term for extension.
She needs off days, which the employer agreed, for the toddlers' sake.

The employer was at her working place when she received a police call.
She was asked to pick her maid at the police station.
She thought nothing of it, just some innocent offence of littering, she told herself.

But her domestic worker gave her the shock of her life - She was caught with a Bangladeshi man in a very compromising act at the beach not far from her house.
The employer was then shown the maid's handphone by the police.
It shocked her more - Her intimate photos with a male.

Worst shock of all, the four and two-years old toddlers were locked at home.
Just the two of them, to fend for themselves.

****** 

Pregnant Indonesian Maid Leapt To Her Death

A pregnant Indonesian maid took her own life when she became emotionally upset that her married boyfriend refused to break off with his girlfriend in Batam, a coroner's court heard.

Anis Dwi Rianawati had asked her 45-year-old Malaysian boyfriend to choose between her and his girlfriend in Batam hours before her death.

Her boyfriend requested time to think about it. During their long conversation at his place on Oct 24 last year, Rianawati, 29, had swallowed some health supplements belonging to her boyfriend, who stopped her and kept patting her back to get her to throw out.

Anis lost consciousness for a while and when she came to, he tried to stop her from leaving as he was afraid that she would do something foolish. But Anis managed to get a cab back to her employer's apartment block in Meyer Road. He drove there and called her down to talk things over. She again insisted that he call his girlfriend in Batam but he refused. She tried to call her but there was no response.

She then threatened to take her own life. Her boyfriend followed her into the lift and she threatened to jump when the lift reached the 20th floor. They got to the ground floor and she ran out.

When he found her near the guard house, she again asked him to call his girlfriend to break up with her, but he ignored her and left. That was the last time Anis was seen alive.

Source: The Jakarta Globe - February 7, 2011

******

A month into her job as domestic worker in July 2008, 24-year old Umi Umiroh from West Java, was plagued by dreams of a crying baby in her employer's semi-detached house.
She did not understand why.

She told her friends about her dreams the next day.
She usually met them at Ling Kwang Home in Serangoon Gardens, the old age home, where she took her employer's mother for therapy sessions twice a week.

They said thing that shocked her - It was the ghost of the previous maid's baby that haunted her.
Later that day, while trimming grass in the garden, she smelled something foul.
Remembering what her friends had said, she related her fears to her employer, Patricia Goh.

The bombshell was dropped - Kirun*, the previous domestic worker, had given birth to a baby.
She then allegedly killed it and buried it in the garden of the two-storey semi-detached house.

A police report was made that same night.
The next day at about 9am, the police, accompanied by four sniffer dogs, spent three hours in the garden. Then the uniform personnel was seen digging up something buried about 15cm deep into the soil.
It was wrapped with a yellow batik cloth.

Some small bones were recovered and analysed by the Health Science Authority.
The baby had allegedly been born prematurely.
It was not known when the baby was buried and no foul smell came from the garden.

None of Patricia's family members had any idea that Kirun was pregnant.
She was always seen wearing loose-fitting batik dresses or oversized T-shirts.

Kirun, married with two children, was employed by Patricia's younger brother in June 2006.
The siblings live with their elderly parents in their house along Hillside Drive.

Kirun's main job was to take the siblings' 82-year-old mother to Ling Kwang Home in Serangoon Gardens, for physiotherapy sessions twice a week.
She had been disabled for three years after suffering a stroke.
They would take a taxi to reach the home, a facility for the elderly, spending about seven hours from 8.30am to 3pm.
Kirun went back to her hometown in Surabaya, Indonesia, on 22nd of June.
.
Umi Umiroh arrived at Ms Goh's house on 6th June, spent two weeks with Kirun before she returned home. Umi was employed because Kirun's contract with them had ended.

It was at the Ling Kwang Home that Umi heard from other maids about Kirun and her premature baby.
She heard from their mutual friends, domestic workers too, about Kirun's confession.
She told her friends she had secretly given birth to a premature baby girl in the toilet of her employer's house. She was allegedly about seven months pregnant at the time.
She did not know what to do with the baby, so she just killed her, and later buried in the backyard.

Occasionally, according to Patricia, Kirun tend to be rude and talked back.
Desite being grumpy, she completed the household chores.
The incident reminded Patricia when she saw Kirun boiling water with ginger to drink.
Perhaps she was nursing a cold, or she could have just given birth then.

The siblings were not strict with Kirun.
She was given Sundays off whenever she asked for them.

******

Kirun, before her departure, had told Umi that she had at least two boyfriends in Singapore.

When asked about her boyfriend, Kirun told Umi about having an abortion after being pregnant for three months.
The aborted baby had been fathered by the Bangladeshi boyfriend.

A week after the chat, Umi saw Kirun taking post-natal jamu (herbs).
Umi asked her if she was pregnant, as she was concerned about Kirun spending time with her boyfriend. Before she met her Bangladeshi boyfriend, she was seeing a Myanmar national.
Kirun was able to meet the men while waiting for the therapy sessions at the old age home to end.

Umi told her not to do indecent things since she has a husband and two teenage children back home.
Umi told her not to be crazy by becoming pregnant, as she would get kicked out of Singapore.
Kirun shrugged the reminder off.
She had relationship with her Bangladeshi boyfriend who gave her $10 each time they met.

Three days before Kirun left Singapore, she took Umi out to meet her Bangladeshi boyfriend, who asked her to be his girlfriend after Kirun returned home.

Umi Umiroh had left her own baby in the care of her parents to come to work in Singapore.
Her husband died in a car accident a year ago when she was six months' pregnant with their first child.

She never thought such a nice person like Kirun, would have not only an abortion, but went so far as to kill her own living baby.

The Maid - Excessive Baggage + + (2)

No less than RM8,000 is the amount that employer needs to pay to have a maid.
It is then deducted through the maid's salaries for six months.

M.S. wrote, "Maybe, we should be more humanitarian, and pay her something from the first month, perhaps not the full salary, but a decent amount for her to send back home. Her family will be happy and so will she."
??????

M.S. wrote, "Sometimes, the maid will still want to leave anyway.

Then let her go.

But, with a good employer, the maid will not run away unless she is a psychotic.

She asked, "Will a maid run away if she is happy in a home, if she feels she is trusted, if she is given more than what she has contracted to do?"

That is the secret.

But if you are an employer who wants his or her pound of flesh, then be prepared for your maid to flee."

******

A reader, in response to a Malay Mail article written by Muzli Md Zin on January 18, 2011 - "I Don't Care: It's A Maid Problem" wrote,

BRAVO!!! Exactly the problem I am facing. After my last maid who worked for me for 4years took 1 month break to visit her "sick" mother with 4yrs salaries in CASH (she insisted CASH) in late Nov 10 and never returned. she did not even leave the country. i sent her to KLIA, checked her in, got passed Immigration (mind u, I saw she passed with my own eyes and later I have a immigration print out record!!) she did not board the flight (because Airlines called to scream at me for my maid was not there to board and they were delayed) How immigration left her out AFTER they stamped her passport of leaving Malaysia is still a mystery to this day!!! So here comes the serious of run around gave me by authorities (police, Immigration & airport security) finally I have to pay FINE to cancelled her permit!!!! I applied for new maid.. Guess what I cannot afford to pay AGENCY FEE “RM 8500.00” which does not grantee a good maid as if the run away or not suitable I still have to pay another RM1980.00 + immigration FINE RM250. oh by the way, I treated my last maid like my own sister!!! And we do not know any “Pak Latif”, so I am between work and caring of my children… and very clearly nearing to loose my JOB!! who cares about middle class like us :-(

******

There are a small number of foreign maids who run away because of abusive employers.
These maids generally seek assistance from either the Indonesian embassy or non-governmental organisations.
These maids should be warn of implications when trying to run away.
There are bound to be difference working in a different country with different culture.
They have to be open minded about it.
It is usually the culture, language, stress and human factor - fussy employers which cause maids to run away.
Adaptation and accustomisation, on some maids are quick,while others, may take a longer time to do so.

Although only a handful of these maids would eventually run away, most of the time,they did so due to external factors - unable to cope with workload or  their employers, or just being unable to adjust themselves living in a new environment.

******

Then there are those runaways influenced by third party.
Maids sometimes mingled with outsiders and fellow nationals who influenced them to run away with promises of easier and better-paying jobs.
Some find boyfriends, thus can be influenced to leave her job and enjoy an easier life with him.
Scores of foreign maids run away annually and in many instances take along their employer's cash and valuables with them.

A maid of 9 years had ran off with cash and jewellery valued about RM10,000.

She managed to take her passport, which the employer locked away.

Despite being treated at all times as part of family members, she eloped with her newfound boyfriend who present her with a handphone.

The employer's standard one daughter's emotion was affected by her disappearance, as she was being cared for by her, since birth.

******

Children who have been brought up by maids still think fondly of their maids.
Runaway maids, not just financial losses the family suffered, but the children too, whom the maid looked after. They also suffered as there were emotional ties involved.
We can change our mindset, accepting their runaway, but not the kids.
Toddlers and small kids are innocent in trust and love they have, for their minders.

******

Runaway maids are major problems faced by employers.
These maids can reenter the country as individuals on social visit passes through various illegal entry points into the country.
Once they gain entry under different identities, they can easily find employment.
They can be rehired by other unsuspecting employers.

Meanwhile, their former employers, on the other hand, have to fork out another thousands RM again, to hire new maids after their earlier help runs away with valuables.

Last year alone, there were 314 reports of maids running away after stealing from their employers.
Another 418 maids ran away without taking anything.
These included maids who committed various crimes.

******

It is estimated that at least 50,000 households are in need of maids.
There are about 400,000 Indonesian maids working in Malaysia sending money to their families back home.

M.S. wrote: We have to learn to trust maids.

Treat them with respect and kindness in word, thought and deed.

A kind gesture goes a long way
.

But when the maid is an opportunist sort, kind gesture will be misunderstood, or be taken advantage of.

Some maids set their own rules, keep praising themselves, claiming others are not as good enough as them.
They can be big headed, turn rebellious, talk back and yell at employers, telling them what to do.
I've came across many such cases, especially when they know asking for another change of maids mean employers have to retrain new maids all over again.
Especially when they do not have much time in hands.
Employers will then  find ways to win the maids' hearts, to love their kids.
These maids can be spoilt too, unappreciative of kind gestures of all the good things in life, employers shower on them.
Employers will be punished for abusing their maids, but employers abused by their maids?
Lesson learnt.

******

Then there are cases of lazy maids who perform half-heartedly.
And there are those fresh school leavers, never touch any houseworks before.
They need to be taught even simple things as how to sweep and squeeze the mops
I've met many maids who are not poor back home, nor in great financial difficulties.
They become housemaids because of current trend in their home villages, where females become housemaids in foreign lands.
Upon their return, the neighbourhood 'will stood up' to their houses renovations and extensions. 

Watch out for those using your husbands' belongings.

It is all too familiar stories heard of they putting their used sanitary pad into soups, and water that they wash their legs used by their employers' families.

******

I've seen maids who demand to be sent home, crying uncontrollably, even when they understand that they are not allowed home before their two-years is up.
They cook up stories of fathers' very sick, mothers' dying, and grandparents sick too.
At the end of the day, when sympathetic employers sent them home for a week or two, with salaries paid, the maids themselves are usually sick too.
Unable to return!

******

Married maids when receiving news of their husbands run away with another women or marrying another wife, sure have their hearts dissppeared into thin air, followed by tremendous crying episodes.
Employers at these times, have to accept what-to-expect-next.

Or, married maids who extend their services, upon their return from their hometowns, several were known to be carrying babies.
They are usually good helpers, hence the extension.
Sign of relief by employers upon seeing them returning again at the airport will soon ache heads as they need to be send back home, unless employers do not mind if their maids do not have smooth pregnancy.
Again, there are great money involved again, especially when their permits have just been renewed.

******

Usually employers will buy their maids, especially when they are first time maids, new lingeries and toiletries to make them having the welcome home feeling.
But maids with attitude problems, even how matured and independent they maybe, will not return kindness with honesty.
They will not hesitate to stealing, even trivial things.

******

Employers And Foreign Maids To Be Told Their Rights

KUALA LUMPUR: Employers must soon attend a half-day course with their newly-employed foreign maids to learn about their rights and responsibilities to each other.

“The course is expected to start at the end of next month. The parties must participate in the course within six months from the time the maids enter the country,” said Human Resources Minister Datuk Dr S. Subramaniam.

Representatives of employment agencies would also join in the course, called the Seminar and Dialogue for Foreign Maids, as there had been complaints against the agencies as well.

The Manpower Department (JTK) will organise such courses nationwide.

“This is to show the world that Malaysia is playing a more positive role to improve on the employer-maid working relationship.

“Although 99% of households with foreign maids are coping well, the one per cent of problematic relationships is giving a wrong impression about the country,” said Dr Subramaniam after the launch of a guidebook on the employment of foreign maids at Socso building here yesterday

The Human Resources Ministry would get the list of new maids entering the country from the Immigration Department and use it to notify the parties supposed to attend the compulsory course.

In May last year, the Malaysian Employers Federation had appealed to the ministry to organise induction courses, as the foreign trainers conducting such courses in source countries might not be familiar with the local culture here.

Last November, there was also a proposal for government officers to conduct “friendly visits” to houses to enquire about the welfare of the foreign maids, but the suggestion was shot down as many felt it was an invasion into their privacy.

On the guidebook, Dr Subramaniam said it outlined the role and responsibilities of each party in the service contract; as well as hotline numbers, websites and addresses of related agencies such as the Immigration Department, JTK and police.

“The guidebook will be given to maids attending the course,” he added.

As for the on-going negotiations with the Indonesian parties wanting a RM800 monthly salary for maids, the minister said Malaysia had countered the proposal by urging for the salary scale to be determined by market forces.

He believed the two sides were keen to resolve outstanding issues the soonest possible.

Last June, Indonesia froze the dispatch of Indonesian maids to Malaysia, following reports of abuse by employers.

Indonesian Ambassador to Malaysia Tan Sri Da’i Bachtiar SH later said that Jakarta would demand higher wages in its negotiations to lift the freeze.

Meanwhile, the Association of Foreign Maid Agencies (Papa) deputy president Foo Yap Hooi agreed with the Government’s proposal to allow market forces dictate wages.

“Better trained maid will be able to command a higher salary. Employers must be sure they are agreeable to the salary stated in the contract.

“If they want to change the maid, they will need to do it within the time period given and pay for the exchange fee,” he said. 

Source: The Star - Februaury 22, 2010

The Maid - Excessive Baggage + +

Maids: Not All Employers At Fault

AKHLILY FARHANA HAZIZAN, Shah Alam, Selangor

I REFER to the letter "We must start to treat them better" (NST, Feb 8) from M.S. on the treatment of maids. I agree with what M.S. said but sometimes, even with care and love, maids still tend to run away or do something that might be troublesome for employers.

I know of a family which trusted their maid and treated her like family. They allowed her to go out on weekends, own a handphone and even meet her relatives who were staying in Malaysia.

Despite all the love they gave her, one morning she ran away with a man soon after her employers went to work, leaving their 5-year-old daughter alone at home. The family members were devastated because they could not believe that the maid had the heart to do such a thing to them. The 5-year-old missed the maid so much that she had fever for about a week.

My point is, no matter how strong the bond that has developed between an employer and an employee, there is still a possibility that the employee might act up. How well you treat your maid does not matter if she does not appreciate the love.

We always see the problem coming from the employer's side. What about the maid? Maids are humans too. They also make mistakes. Therefore, we should not blame employers entirely. I have heard of many cases similar to the one above.

Most maids who cause problems are in the age group of 25 and below. I think they lack the maturity to be maids. Also, it is at this age that they are likely to get caught up in love which might end in them running away with their boyfriends.

The legal age to work as a maid in Malaysia is 25 and above. However, agencies always promote and supply maids who are younger. Most of my friends have maids aged 20 to 25.

I am curious as to how such young maids are able to bypass Immigration and work in Malaysia.

My experience shows that older maids are more reliable. The older they are, the better they are at housework; they are also more hardworking. The younger ones are good too, but once they start to mingle with other foreign workers, quality of their work drops.

I have always had problems with young maids. The worst was when my maid started to sneak her boyfriend into my house.

Employers should not be the one who always get criticised when it comes to maid issues. Maids have to respect their employers and earn their trust. With this, it would be easier for employers to treat them like family.

Source: New Straits Times - February 27, 2011

******

Maid issues will never end.
When maids enter the household, we need to train them.
But for how long?

If they are newcomers, inexperience maids, do not know how to use modern appliances, be prepared to take several months to train them up to your expectations.
Be prepared too, for constant replacement for the appliances being mishandled.
Some maids do not even know how table should be laid.
I've encountered many working mothers who lamented their maids had taken up all their leaves. They needed  officail familiarisation with their working place and duties.

Even then, some maids, with their 'own initiative', would only sweep, mopping and vacuuming some parts of the floor, scrub some parts of the toilet and wipe some parts of the windows.
Meticulous house owners definitely 'jump' seeing these performance.

Some mothers, despite having maids, especially those mothers with phobia to constant replacement of washing machines, stoves, kettles and other electrical appliances, still have to do their own washing beside other house works.
Other additional duties for them are to switch off the electrical appliances all the time.

Many maids are known to be forgetful creatures, keep forgetting how certain things should be done, to the extend of employers almost 'babysitting’ them all the time.
New mothers and mothers in confinement can be at their wit ends - two babies to look after at one go.

The maids?
General house-works - cleaning the house, hang to dry the clothing and ironing.

Some employers have to bear with maids of mild mental retardation.
Some of them are known to be fond of singing their hearts out despite odd hours, some smile at the most inappropriate time, and some talk to the walls.

Worst still, these mothers must be mentally prepared at all times their maids might not adjust themselves into the household.
If these maids are young, first timer away from their family, working in foreign land, does not speak your language, some communication by means of sign language, can they adjust overnight?
Some missed their mother, and simply asked to be sent home after a few days work.

Counselling usually bear no fruit, as these 'children-at-heart maids' missed the environment of their close knitted family and their mothers' cooking.
The memory occupied their minds.
Homesick can turn them to be fierce, affecting them mentally too, thus affecting their performance.
They can appear more dreamy and more forgetful.
Their minds are elsewhere, not in their heads.
They can stare at objects for hours.
They have blank looks.
They can be totally, really blur, in their dream world.
Can vigorous shaking wake them up?

******

An experienced maid will usually cut down training time as they are familiar with house duties.
But they can be bossy, laughing at you.
Some knows they have every right to talk back, can engage in "war of words", can vent their anger or displeasure by banging doors.
Worst to think scenario are employers with small kids.

These maids tend to be street smart and street wise, always on the lookout for new pastures.
Some of them possess fiery tongues.
Some others, good at badmouthing, able to send rifts among family members and relatives.

******

M.S. wrote, since Indonesia has stopped sending its maids to Malaysia, temporary maids are being hired out for up to RM1,500 each.

Agencies are the ones making the mega-bucks.
M.S. suggested it is time to re-look our treatment of maids, are they being treated as family by employers?

How many employers allow their Christian maids a day off for Christmas?

How many employers allow their Muslim maids a day off for Hari Raya?

I know of employers who were happy to allow the maids a day off, and even those with babies were willing to sacrifice so that their maids could go out for Christmas.

The maids were happy because their religion was accepted.

They had the opportunity to spend Christmas away from their workplace.

Do we care enough to show the maids that we trust them?

F.N.did trust her maid then.

She took her out shopping.

On Hari Raya, they spent the whole day, had typical Raya lunch and dinner, and gave her maid a day off for Hari Raya last year.

But, she came back pregnant.

Further, M.S. wrote, let her have a handphone from the first day. 
Work on trust and warmth.

F.N. did give a handphone to her maid - The maid was provided with easy access contacting her boyfriends. She even went out in the middle of the night when the family was all asleep, returning at 5am.

******

In one of the household in Malaysia, the female employer found out that the maid was pregnant.

The maid refused to reveal the father's identity.

Since the maid has had no opportunity to leave the house on her own, the first person whom the employer suspected was naturally her husband.

The wife felt hurt and cheated.
But the husband denied the accusation.
Verbal fights broke out between the couple.

The relationship deteriorated and the wife demanded divorce.

Their teenage son, all along, felt incredibly guilty - For creating the whole mess, the misunderstanding, the rift he caused, and the pending divorce.

He said everyday after school, when he was alone at home with the maid, she would seduced him.
He easily fell victim to her seductions - and got her pregnant.

The parents promptly paid off the maid.
She was sent her back to Indonesia.

******

A very good friend caught her husband having an affair with their maid in the maid's room.

She confronted them, and was severely beaten.

She forgave him, and the affair continued.

She ignored the black chapter in her life.
She look forward to the ever expending food business.

That maid wasn't their first, so naturally suspecting this particular maid having an affair with her husband was never in my friend's mind.

But surprisingly, the husband had been behaving very awkwardly since the first day of her arrival.

He confessed to have voluntarily given her several thousand RM on few occasions.
That's beside the almost daily RM50.

The maid was terminated.

Although my good  friend and her husband are still together, she had lost total trust in him. 

Her eight children are all on her side. 

Now, she guards not the husband, but the flourishing food business which she built from scratch.

******

After two months of her maid brought in her boyfriend,she caught them red-handed in her house.

Neighbours had hinted to her.
But true to their guess, she will not believe them.
She was very close to the maid - She had full trust in her.

It was only after she returned home unannounced, at 3pm.

The maid was immediately sent back to the agent.

******

Some mothers, only after installing CCTVs, did they realise that their maids were tv addicts, especially the many Indonesian sinetrons on Astro.

Wost still, the CCTV showed some mothers their toddlers were pushed to the walls for misbehaved.

(to be continued)

Designer's Motherhood, Custom-Made Babies

An Australian couple, whose daughter died shortly after birth, are desperate for a baby girl.

The woman, in her 30s, is consumed by grief over the death.
She admits she has become obsessed with having a daughter.
It has now becomes vital to her psychological health.

So determined are the couple to have a girl that they recently terminated twin boys conceived through IVF.
The couple said it had been a traumatic decision to make but they could not continue to have unlimited numbers of children because they already have three sons who were conceived naturally.
The woman loves her sons but would do anything to have a daughter.

Under state law, sex selection using IVF is banned unless it is done to avoid the risk of the baby's inheriting a genetic abnormality or disease.
They have gone to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal, which is due to hear the couple's case in March, in a bid to have the decision overturned.to win the right to select sex by IVF treatment.

They say they will go to the US to conceive a girl if their test case fails.

*** Floodgate Likely To Be Open?

******      ******      ******

The world's oldest new mother never regretted motherhood and that she was pleased to hear her daughter call her “Ma”.

By becoming a mother, 72-year old Rajo Devi Lohan, from a village in Haryana, north Delhi, fulfilled her life-long dream, and brought honour back to her family after having struggled with infertility for many decades.

But after giving birth just 25 months ago, November 2008, Rajo is dying.
She is now bedridden and doesn't have the strength to lift 2-year old Raveen.
Too weak to recover from the pregnancy.

The doctor never warned her of the danger and they have no understanding of risks of giving birth so late in life.

She suffered internal bleeding and her womb ruptured after the cesarean birth.
Poverty stricken, she ignored doctor's advise to rest in bed.
Instead, she squat down everyday milking the family buffalo.

To top the pain further, she needed difficult surgery to remove an ovarian cyst.
Her body could not bear the pain of the two surgery that she has to take daily painkiller.
Her 60-year old sister has to move in with her to help look after Naveen.

****** 

After 54-years of marriage, 70-year old Rajo Devi Lohan and her 71-year old farmer husband Balla, took out almost US$3000 in loans for IVF treatments in Baddhu Patti, India, to conceive Naveen.
Rajo and her husband were said to have taken out loans their IVF daughter will never be able to pay back in her life time.

*** Are Customers King Or Technology To Be Blame?