Not By Choice

Conversations With A Sex Worker  

A young Cambodian relates the appalling events that led her into prostitution.

It was the sort of day that made you want to really seize all opportunities.
There was a beautiful blue sky dotted with white wisps of clouds and the kind of sun benevolent enough not to burn your skin.
It was 8am in Cambodia and the adventure at hand was a trip through Angkor Archaeological Park.
My guide?
A 22-year-old sex worker named Samnang, the Cambodian word for Good Fortune.

“You can call me Sam,” she said, smiling shyly.

I had met Sam two days earlier, by accident, when I got lost meandering through the streets of Siem Reap.
At first, she tried giving me directions, but when I failed to comprehend, mostly because I’m not good with maps, Sam offered to walk me back to where I was staying during my week-long visit.

When we arrived, I asked Sam to have dinner with me, but she declined, saying she had to work.
When I asked what she worked as, she explained in halting English that she was a sex worker.
I tried to sound casual, telling her why I was in Cambodia and that I was looking for someone who could show me around.
I asked if she would be interested.

And so, two days later, on a gorgeous day in Siem Rep, Sam takes me on a journey very different from the one I had in mind.

As we walk down Sivatha Road, we talk about our lives and I ask her if she would tell her story for me to share with others.
She agrees but asks that no photographs be taken.
We find a restaurant and seat ourselves for a meal.
Spicy chicken rice at 8.30am is indeed the breakfast of champions. 

The Journey Begins

Sam’s life began as a rather happy one, but it quickly turned into a horrific series of events.
Born in Vietnam, she went to Thailand when she was 17 in search of a better life.
She found a job as a waitress.
One day, she met a foreigner named Gerard who was very pleased to learn that she was a Vietnam native.
He was a businessman who was enthusiastic about importing cheap scooters into Vietnam.

After several lunches and dinners, Sam agreed to take Gerard to Vietnam to help him start his business.
Felicitations of love followed soon after, and a promise of marriage was extended.
One thing led to another and Sam found herself pregnant two months into the relationship.
The business was also warming up.
But Gerard’s ardour toward her cooled drastically.

“He began ignoring me and wasn’t shy about doing it openly,” she shares.
Gerard also turned out to be a paedophile, having his way with many underage girls.
“In Vietnam, if you have money, you can get away with anything; you just pay the police to keep them quiet,” Sam says, frowning.
I tell her that this happens around the world.

Gerard left Sam in her third month of pregnancy.
“I tried asking him to help me and the baby with some money, but he said it’s not his problem anymore,” she says, her voice thick with emotion.
“He told me that I should get an abortion, which he was willing to pay for. I didn’t want to do this and I had nowhere to go. One day, while I was looking for odd jobs, I met an old friend who was working as a seamstress. She took me in without question.” 

On the Run

Months later, Sam gave birth to a beautiful girl and named her Maelea, which means Flower Garland.
Soon after this, she found a job as a cleaner and life seemed better for a while.

About a year later, while she was out with her baby, Sam bumped into Gerard at the local market.
The man who initially wanted to get rid of the baby now wanted her for himself when he saw how cute she was.
“I refused of course,” Sam says.
“I knew what he did with the other young girls. I didn’t trust him anymore and I was afraid that he would hurt my baby.”

But Gerard got his way through his connections and by using corrupt officials.
But after a month, Sam got Maelea back with the help of a visiting social worker from the United States.

“I cried for days after I saw what he had done to my baby. Her private parts were swollen and discoloured. She was only one year old.”
Sam’s petite body shook with heavy sobs from this terrible memory.

When confronted, Gerard rejected the accusations and threatened to hurt Sam and the baby if she continued to pester him.
But he still wanted Maelea.
“He would come to the house that I shared with my friend and send thugs over to threaten us. I was afraid for our safety and decided that I would leave and hide out in Cambodia.” 

Starting Anew

After a difficult journey, Sam found herself in a foreign country.
She couldn’t speak the language, and had a little child to feed.

“I tried for three months to find a job. No one would hire me. I had to beg on the streets with my daughter in my arms. We were staying at bus stands and wherever else that we could find shelter. I thought that if feeding my daughter and providing her with a roof over her head meant that I had to sell my body, then it was a small price to pay.”
And so she turned to prostitution.

“I will never forget the first time I did it. I just kept my mind on the food that I will be able to buy for my child and me. That made it easier.

“I have been doing this for four years now and have met many women like me. In the early days, one of them told me that I would get used to it, that it would get easier. This is not true. I have never gotten used to it and I will not be doing this for much longer.”
There was conviction in her voice.

Sam says she will give it another half a year.
“What will my daughter think?” I am stumped for a reply.

“Soon, she will be old enough to start asking me questions,” she adds.
Later, I ask her if she would ever tell Maelea of her past.
Sam takes a long pause and says, “Right now, I don’t know if I will. I want to be honest, but I also think that she doesn’t have to know the ugly side of my life.”

I ask what she would like to do for a living.

“I am saving some money to go back to school and study. I want to become a teacher.”
And then she asks shyly, “Do you think I can?”

I am too overwhelmed to say anything and I nod my answer.

At the time of writing, Sam has already started her classes.
After so much misfortune, it does look like she is going to live up to the meaning of her name after all.

Source: Cambodia Today - June 2011

Of Lifestyle Death And Women Pursuit Lifestyle Living

Allison Pearson: Death Should Not Be As Easy As Going To The Dentist
Allison Pearson on the unbearably moving case of terminally ill Peter Smedley, who chose to visit Dignitas; and why women love nothing more than a bit of benevolent sexism.
 
'A gentle good humour and stuff upper lip': Peter and Christine Smedley.

Two stories of the week.
The philanthropist Bill Gates passed round the hat and collected $4.3 billion for vaccinations which can eradicate simple diseases in the developing world.
Nine million children who would have died unnecessarily may soon have the right to live.
Meanwhile, in Switzerland, Sir Terry Pratchett, the best-selling novelist, was leading a campaign for another mortal right.

“Peter Lawrence Smedley, are you sure you want to drink this medicament with which you will sleep and die?”

“Yes, I’m quite sure.”

It sounded like a marriage, but it was actually a new rite of passage for humanity.
The death ceremony.
Peter, a charming retired hotelier, was pledging himself to Hades.

With the admin taken care of, Erika, the kindly Swiss death assistant, passed the poison cup to the 71-year-old motor-neurone disease sufferer.
He drank it down and, minutes later, there was a terrible, hoarse rasping sound.
The dying man asked for water.
The death assistant shook her head and hushed him.
We could no longer see Mr Smedley’s face because the camera had tactfully looked away and focused on Sir Terry instead, but Peter’s last words were as clear as they were unbearable:
“My wife’s very good at putting me to sleep just by rubbing my hands. Be strong, my darling.”

This assisted suicide, yours for £10,000 from Dignitas in Zurich, inclusive of ashes, was at the centre of Sir Terry Pratchett’s controversial BBC2 documentary, Choosing to Die.
It was very hard to watch without crying.
Even Sir Terry, the most vocal champion of the right to pencil your own extinction in the diary as if death were a dental appointment, snuffled away a few tears.
Most piercing of all was the way Mr Smedley and his wife Christine, immaculate in pearls, maintained a gentle good humour and stiff upper lip on what was the last day of their 34-year marriage.

“This has been a happy event,” announced Sir Terry afterwards.
“We’ve seen a man die peacefully, more or less in the arms of his wife. When we think of all the ways people can die, that would count as a result.”

I wouldn’t call it a result.
Sad and troubling, most definitely, with shades of Nazi eugenics and a fearful banality – the Dignitas clinic sits on a rumbling industrial estate, which lends a production-line air to one of life’s great mysteries.
Instead of Dylan Thomas urging us to rage against the dying of the light, Peter and Christine were offered coffee and a chocolate.
Milk or plain?
To be or not to be?
Welcome to the Travelodge of doom.

The BBC received 900 complaints about Choosing to Die.
Barely a murmur when you consider that 700 irate viewers rang in to protest that extended motor racing was allowed to bump off Antiques Roadshow.
Anti-euthanasia campaigners said the Pratchett documentary painted an idealised picture of assisted death rather than contributing to an honest debate.
That isn’t so.
It was a deeply thoughtful and moving programme orchestrated by a 63-year-old word wizard under the curse of Alzheimer’s.
Sir Terry is angry that terminally ill Britons, like himself, have to go to Switzerland to be put out of their misery. He fancies dying on his own sunlit lawn, drinking the fatal draught while listening to Thomas Tallis.

It’s a seductive picture, isn’t it?
As seductive as those TV commercials for Quietus, the over-the-counter suicide kit in Children of Men.
Set in the UK in 2027, P D James’s dystopic novel imagines a time when adults are encouraged to kill themselves with a product which soothingly offers to take the choice out of your hands.
You can be sure, dear reader, that when the state-sanctioned putting down of the sick, the disabled and the elderly comes, it won’t look like a factory run by Joseph Goebbels.
It will look like a lifestyle choice.
Make that a deathstyle choice.

That’s why, although Sir Terry, the lovely Smedleys and anyone in fear of a prolonged, painful death have my deepest sympathy, I feel we have to be vigilant and hold the line.
Imagine a clapped-out NHS, which can barely transplant the right kidney, being put in charge of legalised killing.
And if the private sector were involved, how soon before they’d be offering three for two?

You think I’m joking?
The single most shocking fact in Choosing to Die was that 21 per cent of the clients that Dignitas has put to sleep did not have progressive or terminal illnesses, but suffered from a “weariness of life”.
Dear God, if we adopt that criterion, every mum on the Friday afternoon of half-term would be queuing up for a merciful beaker of Paraquat.

While thousands of very sick people register for Dignitas, in the end most choose not to use it.
Knowing you can go quickly and painlessly if you have to seems to provide the strength to stay and see it through.
Let’s be honest, what really scares us is the thought of dying alone in some rank “care” home or being left on a hospital trolley, our shrunken self-respect barely covered by a blue paper gown.
Before we introduce a right to die, how about supporting the right to live our final days without shame?

The British people have not, overnight, become crazed converts to euthanasia, it’s just that too often the alternative is so cruel and awful.
Eighty per cent of us say we want to pass away in our own beds surrounded by family.
Yet the dire state of half of primary care trusts means that 60 per cent end up dying in hospital, where you have to plead for a glass of water.

Terry Pratchett admitted to Mick, an ebullient taxi driver whose motor-neurone disease is being managed by a terrific hospice, that Lady Pratchett does not agree with him on assisted dying.

“Maybe she wants to take care of you?” said Mick’s own wife pointedly.

“She does,” said Sir Terry sadly.

And what’s wrong with that?
Suffering can be our greatest trial but also, for the sufferer and for those who care for them, one of our greatest opportunities for love.
As Bishop Michael Nazir-Ali says:
“Again and again, people have told me how much they have learned about themselves and others at this time in their lives.”

I’m sure he’s right, and all my humane instincts recoil from the cold indignity of Dignitas.
And yet, at the back of my mind, a small voice keeps saying:
“If I had Alzheimer’s and knew that my self was about to vanish, like sand through a sieve, would I want the rest of me to go on?”

*******

You have to admit these are baffling times for blokes.
Thousands of angry young women marched through London wearing bras, suspenders and skirts shorter than a text message on something called a SlutWalk.
I suppose those wearing black PVC corsets are what you might call Basque Separatists.
Any males who ogled, gawped, fell off their bikes, crashed the car or even got lightly steamed-up specs were guilty of judging a female’s availability by her appearance.
No means No, even when a woman’s dressed like a prostitute saying Yes.
Got that?

Meanwhile, another protest by women was going on outside the tragically retrograde new Playboy Club. These females were objecting to the club’s 50 bunny girls being tricked out with tails and ears for the delectation of customers.
“Is the bunny an empowering role for the modern girl or a frivolous sexist plaything?” asked one commentator.
Hmm, give me till the end of this sentence to think about that.
Emmeline Pankhurst and the girls might be a bit surprised to learn they chained themselves to railings so that Hayley from Dunbarton could celebrate her empowerment by sticking a powder puff on her arse.

As if all this wasn’t confusing enough, the Society for the Psychology of Women in Washington DC has just decreed that chivalry is actually “benevolent sexism”.
Researchers warn that there are many acts of unnoticed sexism taking place every day.
They have drawn up a helpful list so we can all be on our guard: a man offering to help his wife with heavy shopping, man calling a group of men and women “guys” and offering to do the driving on long-distance journeys.
Even men who shower their woman with “unwanted affection” or say they cannot live without her could also be sexist.
Phew.
Thank goodness there’s no danger of that kind of thing happening in my house!

It would take a book to unpick this cat’s cradle of contradictions, but let me say two things.
First, north America, where the SlutWalks originated, has the most atrocious maternity leave in the Western world.
Women quit work practically on the day they give birth and are expected to be back in weeks.
If young women are going to take to the streets, then let them fight for the right to have decent time with their babies, not to get their boobs out.

Second, I hereby declare myself the founding member of Women For Benevolent Sexism.
Any gents who want to help me with a suitcase, hold a door open or smile eagerly and say,
“That’s my pleasure, young lady,” please go ahead.

Source: The Telegraph - Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Rajab, The Leader Of Many Blessed Months Ahead

Rajab, the seventh month in the Islamic calender, is undeniably the key to the opening of many months ahead of goodness and blessings.

When Prophet Muhammad sollallaahu 'alaihi wasallam sighted the first crescent of a new moon of Rajab, he used to pray to ALLAH Subhaanahu Wa Ta'alaa in the following words: 

   اللّهمّ بارك لنا في رجب و شعبان وبلّعنا رمضان

Allaahumma baarik lanaa fee Rajaba wa Sya'baana wa ballighnaa Romadhaana.

"O ALLAH, make the months of Rajab and Sya'ban blessed for us, and let us reach the month of Romadhan (prolonging our lives up to Romadhan, so that we may benefit from its merits and blessings)."

It is preferable to supplicate to HIM for longevity to enable performance of good deeds.
Leaving goodness before we stepped into the next world is bound to be legacy that we will leave for our next generation.

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said,
"Rajab is the month of ALLAH, Sya'ban is My month, and Romadhan is the month of My ummah (community)."   

Rajab is the month of cultivation, Sya'ban the month of irrigating fields, and Romadhan is the month of reaping and harvesting.

Rajab, the month of ALLAH S.W.T., is the first of the many sacred months that follow, with all nobilities and virtues.
Let us refrain ourselves from negativity of living, specially in this month of ALLAH S.W.T.

The month is also a prelude to the month of Romadhan, which follows after the intervening month of Sya'ban.
Rajab is "to be respect".
One of the four sacred months in Islam in which battles are prohibited.
The pre-Islamic Arabs also considered warfare strictly forbidden during the four holy months, Muharram, Rejab, Dzul Qa'idah and Dzul Hijjah.
The view that has been confirmed in Islam.

******

Some believe that Prophet Ibrahim 'alaihis salaam returned to HIM on the 18th of Rajab.
Saidina 'Ali bin Abi Talib was born on the 13th.
And, 28 Rajab 1342 A.H. (3 March 1924), Mustafa Kemal Ataturk abolished the Ottoman Caliphate.

But come 27 Rajab, Isra' Mi'raj is remembered all over the world for

 سُبْحَانَ الَّذِي أَسْرَى بِعَبْدِهِ لَيْلاً مِّنَ الْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ الأَقْصَى الَّذِي بَارَكْنَا حَوْلَهُ 

لِنُرِيَهُ مِنْ آيَاتِنَا إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ البَصِيرُ

"Glory be to GOD Who made HIS Servant to go by night from the Sacred mosque (Mecca) to the Farthest Mosque (Jerusalem) of which We have Blessed the Precincts, so that We may show to Him some of Our Signs; surely HE is the Hearing, the Seeing."

Al-Qur'an - Surah Al-Isra': 1

Such a journey is beyond the scope of imagination.

Hence the opening of the Surah, ALLAH S.W.T. glorifies HIMSELF "Glory" to HIM who is beyond laws and systems as HE is the Creator of all systems.

HE is not restricted by the laws of this universe.

******

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. was lying in the hijr (of the Inviolable [no sin is permitted within its precincts] Mosque of Makkah) when Angel Jibril 'alaihis salam came to cut open His chest.
His heart was removed and cleansed with Zamzam water, filled with faith and wisdom, before the organ was put back in its place.

The Prophet s.a.w. was then led outside where a white creature, Buraq was waiting.

(There is a pillar in Masjidil Haram with different art motif from the rest - it was said that it's an indication that, that 's the pillar where the Buraq was tied. Hoping the pillar is still around).
The creature then brought Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. to Masjidil Aqsa in Baitul Maqdis from which most of the Prophets hail.
There he found all of the Prophets gathered there, and they prayed in congregation behind Him.

Narrated Abu Huraira:
On the night when ALLAH's Apostle was taken on the Mi'raj, 

two cups, one containing wine and the other milk, were presented to Him at Jerusalem. 

He looked at it and took the cup of milk. 

Angel Jibrail a.s. said, 

"Praise be to ALLAH Who guided You to Al-Fitrah, the correct  path

if You had taken (the cup of) wine, 

Your nation would have gone astray."

No other Prophets was ever carried by the winged creature Buraq, except Muhammad s.a.w.

The Prophet s.a.w. then made His second ascension reaching the sky of this world, Samaaud Dunya, and the wings of angels carried Him up to the seventh heaven.

Then the wings of Angel Jibril a.s. from the seventh heaven, to near the Lote-Tree or Sidratul Muntaha.

The ninth level is where he heard the sound of the Angels' pens writing people's actions and the tenth level was at HIS Throne, and ALLAH S.W.T. Knows Best.

Muhammad s.a.w. then went to meet ALLAH S.W.T. 

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. saw The LORD with his very own eyes, 
"ra'a rabbahu bi ‘ainii ra'sihi."

The Prophet s.a.w., with his physical body in defiance of the physical laws of the universe came all the way to the Unseen, The Divine Throne, The ‘Arasy, up to qab kawthaini, the distance of two bow lengths.

The Creator took Muhammad s.a.w. there and revealed HIMSELF to Muhammad, HIS creation, in the manner HE Wished, with no interference of the Angel Jibril a.s. who was seen by the Prophet s.a.w. many times. 

"ALLAH revealed to HIS Servant what HE revealed.

The Prophet's heart in no way falsified what it saw. 

Will you then dispute with Him about what He saw?

And He saw HIM again another time. 

At the Lote-tree of the utmost boundary.

At the Garden of Abode 

Behold the lote-tree was shrouded with what shrouds

His sight did not swerve or go wrong. 
Indeed He saw the Greatest Signs of His LORD
Have you seen Latta and ‘Uzza (two pagan idols)
And the third one Manat (another idol)

Surah An-Najm (The Star) 53:10-20 

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. stopped in ten different stations:
The last of seven heavens, Jannatul Ma'wa and the eighth at Sidratul Muntaha.

GOD grants miracles or Mu'jizat to all Prophets and the miracles often go beyond the laws of physics and beyond the constraints of human realities.
Some view it as something improbable, their GOD's made human minds unable to find rationality behind happenings beyond the common laws of nature.
Anything beyond the comprehension of these physical GOD's made minds is totally rejected.

Prophet Ibrahim 'alaihis salaam, the forefather of Prophets, was granted spiritual vision to see the miracle workings of HIS Creation, the universe.
GOD showed Ibrahim a.s. wonders of the universe from the earth with his spiritual vision.

His baseera, the 'eyes' of his heart went beyond the laws of the physical universe.
There is a spiritual dimension in the physical universe, beyond the laws of the physical universe.
Ibrahim a.s. knew the reality of the universe as GOD had shown it to him.

HE showed Prophet Ibrahim a.s. the truth, and he is conveying the heavenly message.
Now, the heavenly kingdom is opened to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. on His miraculous events happened on the Night of the Night Journey and Ascension.   

Isra' and Mi'raj took place both in body and spirit, beyond comprehension of ordinary minds.
GOD made Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. to move in spiritual dimensions with his physical body in complete freedom from the physical laws.
He s.a.w. was brought to a point where there is no place and no time, no ‘where' and no ‘when' with Himself present in body and soul.

GOD gave this universe to all humanity, but HE showed the last Prophet s.a.w. related to HIMSELF. 

Does man not consider that We created him from a [mere] sperm-drop - then at once he is a clear adversary? 

And he presents for Us an example and forgets his [own] creation. He says, "Who will give life to bones while they are disintegrated?"

Say, "HE will give them life who produced them the first time; and HE is, of all creation, Knowing." 

[It is] HE who made for you from the green tree, fire, and then from it you ignite. 

Is not HE who Created the heavens and the earth Able to Create the likes of them? Yes, [it is so]; and He is the Knowing Creator. 

His Command is only when HE intends a thing that HE Says to it, "Be," and it is. 

So exalted is HE in Whose Hand is the realm of All Things, and to HIM you will be returned. 

 Al-Qur'an Surah Yaasin: 77-83

Not Just 'Imam Muda', But Eternal Leader

"Imam Muda" or Young Leader, a Malaysian television series with 10 young men between 19 and 27 entered the show.
Another reality show thrusts for viewers.

For a simple reason that these young men are not hopefuls of 'Akademi Fantasia', 'Malaysian Idol', 'Mari Berdansa'... and many more reality show that I am not possible to keep track,
not the reality fit for soul food,
these young men had voluntarily opted the responsibility to place heavy baggages on their shoulders, had their private lives 'intruded into',
'out of pity', I do not follow the reality show from day one on Astro Oasis 106 when “Imam Muda” first aired last year, which the participants were only Malaysians.   

'Imam Muda', said to be a hit Islamic reality show, yes, I heard about it, but honestly I did not follow.
One reality show after another.
A copycat nation?
Hopefully, not us at all.
To keep up with trend, now we need a reality show to choose a highly religious leader who should be seen fit and worthy to lead the society?

The end result, according to Izelan Basar, station manager for the Malaysian satellite television station which produces the show, they wanted to do the best they could to attract youths to be closer to the religion.

But the further end result is what I feared then, as we have no see-through 'kasyaf' eyes, able to penetrate the unknown.

These young men, with long future years ahead, are thrown into the limelight.

They can plan their future, but they cannot predict them.

We can point straight to Qada' and Qadar, fated that things should happen when it's 'not according to plan'.
We can be the best planner of the best, but in the end, it is up to HIM to execute or abort it.

People tend to remember the 'once only' mistake than the positive doings we do all our lives.

Many people are less forgiving, lesser than HE who creates us.

People and prints tend to harp over the black tiny dot of ones doing, over, and over, and over again.

I had read and observed many cases, befell to those well known in this region, when once only mistake done, all goodness will go into the drain.

Even when things done are not mistake, but not according to norm or culture, the masses are too easy with accusation, even fault not those well known, but masses themselves, for having 'half full half empty' understanding.

But when I heard "Assalaamu'alaikum, saya Mujahid, berasal dari Woodlands, Singapura... Memecah suatu tradisi, meneruskan perjalanan suatu kehidupan..." on tv in a house I visited few Wednesday nights ago, that was the turning point for Me to know more about the reality show.
I would have not recognised him, if not for the resemblence of his father's feature.

As was My previous sharing, when too many Muslims from Pakistan married among their own relatives, wrong perception of Islamic teaching was reflected.

I submitted myself to become a victim of wrong perception too.
When too many local reality show, 'Mentor', 'Raja Lawak', 'Maharaja Lawak'... were served on platters to us, to Me then , 'Imam Muda' was on such category too.
How wrong was I then.

Credit should be given to Tuan Asmawi Tuan Umar.
He made his presentation to Radio Television Malaysia (RTM) for the 'Imam Muda' reality program.
But it was turned down, as RTM already had its reality show.
The same proposal was made to TV9 but it already had 'Akademi Al-Qur'an'.
Although he was under great pressure to bring forth his idea to realisation, but he still has great confidence in HIM.

He will be helped if he wants to help others to HIS path.
He brought forward his working paper to Astro, but the Malay panel was sceptical, not interested in his idea, since Astro already has had its AF and RL.

He then seek permission to see their superior, who came all the way from India.
The response was "Good!", knowing imam's duty and responsibility is more than a priest.

“Imam Muda”, a Malaysian Islamic reality show first aired in 2010.
It is to create a new generation of young and credible ' imams', training them towards depicting a true picture on the essence and responsibility of being true leaders. 

“This is not like other programs that have no religious values,” said the show’s chief judge and 'imam' at the National Mosque, Al-Fadhil Dato' Hasan Mahmud Al-Hafiz, a former prayer leader at Malaysia’s national mosque.  
“We have no shouting or jumping. We provide spiritual food. We’re not looking for a singer or a fashion model.”

This formula works in 21st century Malaysia.
Other reality TV have crowned chefs, designers, hair stylists, models, singers, but religious leaders?
Malaysia Boleh.
Unlike other reality show, showing their best at runway walk-offs and challenging among themselves at quickfire cooking challenges, these young men, they have no jumping, prancing around or shouting.

They enrich the spirit.
They performed 'fadhu kifayah', dia yang buat, kita tak payah, attended to corpses at morgue that had gone unclaimed for weeks and burying them, joined police crackdown on "Mat Rempit", teenage motorcyclists and counselled unmarried pregnant mothers-to-be.
This journey is documented in the program, dealing with a highly important institution amidst the crumbling society of I have full right of what I want to do, not what I need to do in this progressive nations.

When imam of the past used to be always someone ancient-schooled with old-fashioned thinking and refused to understand the youngs, Astro Oasis is steering towards a new generation of young, credible, and progressive leaders.
They are unearthing and training new versatile imams, giving information to the society on the importance of versatility towards the right path.
We are witnessing the process of finding true essence in the modern and progressive imam. 

"Imam Muda" is the most-watched program ever on Astro Oasis, an Islamic-themed cable channel.
Even the programme creators were thrilled by its success in achieving their goal of bringing young generation closer to their faith, with aim to find leaders who will connect with youths, keeping faith close to their heart amidst nowadays generation immersed in fun-filled pop culture.

Astro Oasis had already paved the way for ten 'Imam Muda' last year, and GOD Willing, another ten for this year.

These talented good young men, from the beginning, it is made clear of their intention is not for fame, not for money, not for showing of how good they are.

It's truly amazing with the idea of using reality tv to search for today's young people to become tomorrow's religious leader.
This bizzarre marriage between religion and pop culture is working miracle, sparked a new level of interest for believers, and took the world by storm.
The reality show proved that the amount of potentially good program is enormous.

The show is midway, (tonight too, if I am not mistaken. I had not really sit down to specially watch the program, just snippets here and there) through its 10-week stint.
It's producers are looking for pious but progressive Muslims who can prove that religion remains relevant to Malaysian youths despite the pop culture and other negative influences.

The show has become the Islamic-themed channel’s most-watched program ever.
It debuted to great popularity in Malaysia, and the programme has gained global attentions.  
'Imam Muda' was shown to 3.7 million viewers worldwide, surpassing 'Akademi Al-Qur'an' viewers, many times more.
Even its Facebook site has surpassed its 370, 000 fans and is still growing.

******

I had worked with Mujahid's mother, and I had worked under his father.

Mujahid had been my kindergarten student, and so was his few siblings.

Once, some time last year, on Friday visiting My ex-colleagues, before An-Nur underwent total renovation, I heard a very familiar voice reciting verses from The Holy Qur'an.

I was listening attentively to the familiar voice when My friend said,  

"Your son lah, Mujahid."

I was surprised because he was in secular school.

But like father like son, "kemana tumpahnya kuah, kalau bukan kenasi."

I had made known to his father that I would prefer children to get real exposure of the truly mixed Singapore races.

Never mind the father's a UIA graduate, and any other university for that matter, and it's ok I obtain my master from u-never-study education centre.

No doubt Mujahid's parents are both theologically inclined, but I would prefer Mujahid to be sent to secular school, given his active and outgoing nature.

No doubt the father was My principal, but I had often voiced out My views despite opposing his.

I had to let him weigh rationally a piece of My mind as I had always look upon the late Ustaz Taha Suhaimi.

Born on a Thursday, July 27, 1916.

Although his father, Sheikh Muhammad Fadhlallah as-Suhaimi, had helped to establish Kulliyah Al-'Attas in Johor Bahru and founded Madrasah Al-Ma'arif in Ipoh Lane in 1936, yet the young Taha Suhaimi received his early education at the Raffles Institution.

He later spent eight years studying at Al-Azhar University in Cairo, Egypt.

Since he went to Al-Azhar to sincerely seek knowledge, and not certification, he returned to Singapore to become a lecturer at the Ngee Ann College.

He was also the first president of the Syari'ah Court.

After his father, Sheikh Muhammad Fadhlallah as-Suhaimi's demise in August 16, 1964, at 78 years of age, Ustaz Taha took charge of Madrasah Al-Ma'arif. 
 It was first built in Tanjung Katong before resited at wakaf land in Ipoh Lane in 1939 by Shaikh Omar Bamadhaj.

An all-girls' Islamic school, it is one of six full-time Islamic madrasahs for primary, secondary and pre-university levels students in Singapore.

With futuristic vision the school master was empowered with, I remember looking at old pictures of the 70s of Madrasah AlMa'arif, with Chinese teachers.
They had even enrolled Chinese staff for the future generation.

Its school curriculum has always emphasis the balance of theology studies and secular subjects from the Singapore Ministry of Education, a more well-rounded and wholesome education.

In 1971, Al-Ma'arif had its students sat for the first GCE 'O' and 'A' Level as private candidates, more than twenty years earlier before the madrasah curriculum was revamped by MUIS, the Singapore Islamic Council, to include the curriculum from the Ministry of Education.

Madrasah Al-Ma'arif Al-Islamiah has since moved to Lorong 39, Geylang.

Ustaz Taha As-Suhaimi had authored 'Biography of Sheikh Muhammad Bin 'Abdullah As-Suhaimi' (his grandfather), 'Commentary of the Surah Yasin' Hajj and 'Umrah', 'Proofs Concerning the Validity of the Qur'an', 'The Book of Fasting, 'The Book of Fiqh', The Science of  Tawhid', 'The True Meaning of Heresy', 'Qadha' and Qadar,  all in Malay.

Some of his English writings are 'Has the Bible Been Altered?' and 'Muhammad Foretold in the Earlier Scriptures'.  

He passed away on Tuesday, June 8, 1999. 

May we benefit from knowing him.
Al-Faatihah.

The Misunderstood Cultural, Nothing Religious Inbreeding

Inbreeding Among Muslims In The UK Is A Sizeable Problem 
nuryn 

Opening Up Discussion Of Problem Of Inbreeding
Inbreeding within the Muslim community in the UK and its tragic consequences have recently been aired openly. Within the community itself, where marrying within the family is part of tradition, the problem of inbreeding tends merely to be accepted as par for the course. For others, silence on the issue of inbreeding is the result of political correctness and fear of being branded racist. A talk on inbreeding within Islamic communities by geneticist Steve Jones prompted airing of the issue in the British press. Warning that inbreeding in Islamic communities was threatening the health of generations of children, Steve Jones, said, “We should be concerned as there can be a lot of hidden genetic damage and children are much more likely to get two copies of a damaged gene”.
Size And Impact Of The Problem
Although inbreeding is a huge problem within the Islamic community, inbreeding is not a koranic teaching. The problem is more cultural than religious, even though there could be confusion within the minds of the community.
The vast majority of Muslims in the UK are from Pakistan. It is said that about half of British Pakistani Muslims marry a first cousin and that such Muslim inbreeding are 13 times more likely than the general population to produce children with genetic disorders. About 10% of children from first-cousin marriages either dies in infancy or develops a serious life-threatening disability. And although 3% of children born in the UK are British Pakistanis, they make up 33% of the 15,000 to 20,000 children born each year with genetic defects. The defects range from blindness or deafness, to physical deformities, to all kinds of organ damage, including brain damage, which can cause death or chronic degenerative illnesses.
It is not just the hospitals that have to cope with the medical problems that these children face. The education system, too, has to try to cater for those with learning difficulties. Then there are the families themselves, who have to cope with the impaired children, or have to face the trauma of the loss of children. On top of that, physically unaffected children are more likely than the general population to carry the defective gene and pass it on to subsequent generations.
Attitude Of Muslim Community To The Problem
The issue of inbreeding is one that is discussed to some extent on Muslim websites. Explaining the popularity of marriages between cousins, one British-Pakistani netizen wrote, “A main reason why this corrupt practice is still followed in Britain is because the family wants to keep their property, land, jewellery and money in the family. The lack of education in families, along with Pakistani village culture, encourages these incestuous marriages”.
This lack of education is evident in the responses that some charity and health-sector workers encounter. They are told by many parents that the children’s disability is due to an “act of God” or the “will of Allah”. Zed Ali, manager of Project BME (Black Minority Ethnics), and herself of Asian and British background,  says that some parents think that if their children die, they will become angels in heaven.
Effort To Educate The Muslim Community
A Muslim doctor in Birmingham, Mohamed Walji, has discussed the devastating effect of cousin-marriages with the imam at his local mosque. The imam has since given lectures about this topic. According to Mohamed Walji, there has been a reduction in the number of cousin-marriages.
Think About It
If there are hard data on the size of the problem of inbreeding and its devastating effects, should it be politically incorrect to discuss the problem? Would it be more correct to discuss the issue of inbreeding and find constructive ways of tackling the problem? Many people in the Muslim community in the UK are educated, and by website comments are concerned about the effects of inbreeding. Could they, or should they, like Mohamed Walji, be leading the way in trying to stem the problem? Could religious leaders also play a part?

Source: A Big Message - Monday, June 6, 2011

****** 

Hay Festival 2011: Professor Risks Political Storm Over Muslim 'Inbreeding’

Prof Steve Jones, one of Britain’s most eminent scientists, has warned that the level of inbreeding among the nation’s Muslims is endangering the health of future generations.

Professor Steve Jones gives The John Maddox Lecture at the Hay Festival  

Photo: CLARA MOLDEN 

By Jonathan Wynne-Jones Religious Affairs Correspondent

The geneticist said that it was common in the Islamic world for men to marry their nieces and cousins.

He said that Bradford has a particular problem and warned that it could affect the health of children born into these marriages.

Prof Jones, who lectures at University College London, is likely to find himself at the centre of controversy in the wake of the comments.

Similar remarks made by Phil Woolas, a Labour environment minister, in 2008 resulted in calls for him to be sacked from the government.

Prof Jones, who writes for the Telegraph’s science pages, told an audience at the Hay Festival: “There may be some evidence that cousins marrying one another can be harmful.

“It is common in the Islamic world to marry your brother’s daughter, which is actually closer than marrying your cousin.
“We should be concerned about that as there can be a lot of hidden genetic damage. Children are much more likely to get two copies of a damaged gene.”
He added: “Bradford is very inbred. There is a huge amount of cousins marrying each other there.” Research in Bradford has found that babies born to Pakistani women are twice as likely to die in their first year as babies born to white mothers, with genetic problems linked to inbreeding identified as a “significant” cause.
Studies have found that within the city, more than 70 per cent of marriages are between relations, with more than half involving first cousins.
Separate studies have found that while British Pakistanis make up three per cent of all births, they account for one in three British children born with genetic illnesses. Prof Jones also said that incest was more common than is often realised in every part of society, adding that it had been particular prevalent among royalty and suggested it is still ­continuing.
“Royal families are the human equivalent of fruit flies because they do all the sexual experiments you can think of and there are some examples of inbreeding.
“Royalty did it to keep the heritage within the family line.
“Inbreeding doesn’t apply particularly to our own royal family, but there is some.”
He explained that Prince Charles and Diana could both be traced back to Edward I, with Prince Charles being able to do this through 3,000 “lines” – overlapping connections between people in his family tree – and his former wife being able to do it through 4,000, making the Princess of Wales “from stronger aristocratic heritage” than her husband.
“Their parents had much ancestry in common,” he said.
“We are all more incestuous than we realise.
“In Northern Ireland lots of people share the same surname which suggests a high level of inbreeding.
“There’s a lot of surname diversity in London but if you look at the Outer Herbrides there are rather fewer surnames in relation to the number of people.”

Source: Telegraph - May 29, 2011

The Maid - 'Deadly' Test To Make A Living

Family of Dead Indonesian Maid in Shock 
Melisa Kok

Singapore. The family members of the Indonesian woman, who took her own life after failing an entry test for maids thrice, have buried her in their home town of Kluwan in Central Java. But they are still in shock over their loss.

Sulastri Wardoyo, 26, had hanged herself at the maid hostel where she was staying last Saturday, after failing three times to pass a test that would have let her work here. (ST Photo)

Sulastri Wardoyo, a married 26-year-old mother of one, had hanged herself in a shower stall in a maid hostel here on May 28. She died in hospital a few days later.

Her husband, who gave his name only as Sudarsono, told The Straits Times in a telephone interview: 'Up to today, we don't believe she committed suicide. She was a strong woman; she wouldn't do something like that.'

The 27-year-old farmer had been told on May 31 by his wife's Indonesian recruiter that she had been hospitalized, and then told the next day that she had died.

Her body was flown back last Friday and buried on the same day.

It is believed that Sulastri became despondent when she failed to clear the written English test of literacy and numeracy skills.

All newly arrived maids have to pass the test within three days of their arrival, among other requirements, before they are cleared to work in Singapore.

If they fail it, they are sent home.

Sudarsono said there were no problems at home. He described his late wife as a strong-hearted woman who was very close to her family and ever ready to help her friends.

'While being trained at the training centre before she went to Singapore, she called us every Saturday and Sunday to ask how we were doing. She was also supportive of her friends who were also undergoing training with her at the centre,' he said.

Indonesians looking to become maids in Singapore for the first time undergo around three months of training, which covers areas such as spoken English and performing household chores.

Sudarsono said his wife did not face difficulties during her training, but added that they had not been in touch since her arrival here.

Their daughter, 11/2-year-old Afeka Fapeana Kusumu Dewi, is now being cared for by  Sulastri's parents.

The child misses her mother, said Sudarsono. 'She cries all the time, asking, 'Where is mother?' She is confused.'

He said his wife had borrowed about 7 million rupiah (S$1,000) from relatives to come to Singapore to work.

When asked if he had to pay the money back, he said: 'We discussed it as a family. They understand.'

He said he is not sure who will have to foot his wife's hospital bills, but added matter-of-factly: 'Right now, I think it's my responsibility.'

Bridget Tan, president of the Humanitarian Organization for Migration Economics, said she and a few representatives of the migrant worker welfare group will visit Sudarsono and his family next week with an offer of assistance.

She added that she was also looking to start a public donation drive to raise funds for Sulastri's family.

The Indonesian woman's death has turned the spotlight on the entry test for foreign domestic workers, with many maid agencies and employers calling for it to be either reviewed or scrapped.

The Manpower Ministry said on Monday that it is reviewing the test, following feedback it has received over the last few months.

Source: The Jakarta Globe - Wednesday, June 8, 2011

******

Officials on Friday vowed to review training programs for migrant workers as news reached the country that Sulastri Wardoyo had attempted suicide and died in the hospital.

Asia-Pacific director for protection at the National Board for the Placement and Protection of Indonesian Overseas Workers (BNP2RKI), Sadono, said the state would ensure that workers were prepared for life abroad before approving their permits.

Aside from language skills, Sulastri’s case highlighted the need to prepare workers mentally for the stresses of life abroad.

Workers who have not completed their training cannot be placed in any country to avoid any problem over the lack of skills or language training.

Sulastri was housed by employment agency Budget Maid in a hostel, in north of Singapore.

She took the Foreign Domestic Worker Entry Test on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday but failed every time.

Staff claimed that she had been depressed over her trice failure in the English-language, preventing her from working in the city-state. 

She then tried to commit suicide by hanging herself in a shower cubicle at the maid hostel where she was staying on Saturday. 

After she was found, staff cut the rope used to hang herself.

Her heart stopped three times as paramedics tried to resuscitate her.

She was then admitted to intensive care at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital since Saturday after the attempted suicide.

She was said to have suffered brain damage after scanning, and passed away last Wednesday, after being confined in intensive care.

Severe brain damage can occur when the brain is deprived of oxygen for more than two minutes and such patients would be in a comatose state and can have difficulty breathing.

The Indonesian government was urged to find out why Sulastri failed the test.

It is important too, for the government to craft pro-training policies, and national discussion is needed as it acknowledge that training programs are still weak.

The government needs to evaluate the migrant-worker training system locally.

It would even be better if the government will also be involved in giving training to the migrant workers to improve the quality of the workers sent abroad.

For now, the government requires private recruitment agencies to give preparation courses and teaches skills for workers and state bodies.

But the state is encouraged not to depend on recruiters to provide quality instruction.

Executive director of Migrant Care, Anis Hidayah, needs the Indonesian government to “tighten supervision” of placement agencies and evaluate the preparations provided by these agencies.

She added, migrant workers’ readiness should be measured by their ability to speak the language of their employer country, their completion of administrative requirements and the skills they need for the job.

****** 

Singapore Entry Test for Maids 'Too Difficult' 
Elizabeth Soh 

Singapore. About 50 maids sat the test - and only five passed.

That was the dismal result yesterday when the latest batch of newly arrived maids took the Foreign Domestic Worker Entry Test.

They must pass the test before they can work here, and are given three tries, failing which they must leave Singapore. But they can come back to retake the test.

Last Saturday, an Indonesian maid, who was said to be depressed after failing the test three times, tried to hang herself.

Every weekday, about 80 maids take the test in batches at the Mountbatten office of Grace Management, which has been contracted by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) to conduct the tests.

The test was introduced in 2005 as part of measures by MOM to improve the literacy and numeracy skills of maids here. In 2009, the questions were revised following an MOM review.

Maids have 30 minutes to answer 40 multiple choice questions in English. The questions test their understanding of English as well as in areas like household chores, budgeting and childcare.

At the centre yesterday, the mix of Indonesian, Filipino and Myanmar maids looked nervous while waiting for their results. Some were already crying while others clutched well-thumbed folders containing sheets of sample questions and answers that they had studied.

Maids awaiting the results of the entry test yesterday. They must pass the test before they can work here, and are given three tries, failing which they must leave Singapore. MOM says the test has helped to ensure that more mature and literate maids come here. (ST Photo/Wang Huifen)

The results were out within half an hour and, according to the agents there, all except five maids failed. It was the second or third attempt for most.

MOM has said the passing rate for the test has consistently been 95 per cent. But agents said that based on what they have observed, the rate is much lower.

'Each day, at least half will fail,' said an agent who was at the centre. 'Some are taking the test for the 20th time. They will just keep trying because the cost is too much for them to give up.'

Filipino and Sri Lankan maids are repatriated if they fail and have to face the disappointment of families, who often have to sell their cattle or homes to pay for them to come here.

Most Indonesian maids are sent to Batam to be retrained before they take the ferry back - often at their own expense - to try again. Almost all owe at least $1,000 to their agents back home.

Myanmar maid Bawk Nu, 23, was one of the few who cleared the test yesterday. It was her first attempt. 'I was not confident of passing, I was so scared,' she said in a mix of English and Mandarin. 'I'm very happy I can be a maid now.'

Twenty employment agencies interviewed said the passing rates ranged from 60 per cent for Myanmar and Indonesian maids to 90 per cent for Filipino ones.

Filipino maid Felicita Fernandez, 41, started to cry 10 minutes before the results were out. She was taking the test for the third time. 'If I fail this time, I will have to go back to the Philippines,' said the mother of four. 'I have no money and I will now owe more.'

Unfortunately, she failed.

About 10 maids interviewed at the centre said they did not understand most of the questions. While most were able to read them, they did not understand the content.

'I tikam the paper,' said Indonesian maid Sumiyati, 23, referring to how she made wild guesses. She showed how she circled the answers randomly.

Employment agencies said the test became too tough after it was revised. A common complaint was that it now features far fewer illustrations and pictures.

Peter Chan of Javamaids said: 'Passing the entry test also does not mean that they can converse in English. And no matter how much we train the girls in other areas like cooking, it's useless if they can't pass the test.'

Suhaila Musao of Yathrib Services said: 'The real value in the training is the practical lessons like ironing and cooking. But the maids are so frustrated and pressured about the test that they cannot focus.'

An MOM spokesman said the test has helped ensure that more mature and literate maids come to Singapore. It is conducted in English because public signs and labels are generally in that language.

Several employers said that while an entry test was important, what was more useful than a maid's ability to speak English were skills like being able to look after the elderly and children and cook basic meals.

'I want a maid with a good learning attitude and good hygiene, who can cook and take care of my family,' said marketing executive Josephine Teo, 54.

'Speaking English is a plus, but also something she can learn over time.'

Source: The Jakarta Globe - June 2, 2011

****** 

MOM Reviewing Effectives Of Entry Test For Maids

WE REFER to recent letters and articles in The Straits Times on the entry test for first-time foreign domestic workers (FDWs), following the tragic demise of Ms Sulastri Wardoyo.
The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) introduced the entry test in 2005 as part of a package of measures to ensure first-time FDWs are able to adapt to working and living in Singapore.
The entry test was thus designed to ensure that they possess basic numeracy and literacy skills. It also helps ascertain the ability of FDWs to understand basic safety instructions, as most of them will be working in a highly urbanised environment for the first time.
This is important, both for the safety of the FDW as well as the young children and the elderly she may be taking care of.
Contrary to suggestions by some employment agencies, MOM has not made the entry test more difficult in recent months or years. It is also inaccurate to draw conclusions about the passing rate from a single test session, as your newspaper did ('Entry test for maids 'too difficult''; last Thursday).
In fact, close to 95 per cent of first-time FDWs pass the test. To better assess whether a potential FDW can pass the entry test, employment agencies may use the sample test questions available on MOM's website.
The ministry has been receiving suggestions and ideas on the entry test in recent months, in part due to policy changes in the FDW source countries. MOM is reviewing the effectiveness of the entry test to ensure it remains relevant, while taking into consideration the feedback received.
We will work with key stakeholders as part of the review. Members of the public can e-mail suggestions and views to mom_fmmd@mom.gov.sg
Farah Abdul Rahim (Ms)
Director, Corporate Communications
Ministry of Manpower

Source: Asia One - Tuesday, June 7, 2011

'Obedient Wives' In Nepal

Rural Communities In Nepal Lack Family Planning Options, Awareness 

In Dhading, a district not far from Nepal’s capital city, one woman conceived more than 25 times in 30 years. Because of a lack of family planning awareness in rural communities, women have little say in the number of children they have, even if it jeopardizes their physical health. After a stranger heard about her case on the radio, he paid for a lifesaving operation. Today, she is an advocate for contraception and family planning awareness in rural Nepal.

by Kamala Gautam  

DHADING, NEPAL – Hem Kumari Chepang, 42, has given birth to more than 20 children during the last 30 years.

“Have as many children as you can,” she says her husband, Hari Chepang, 50, told her. “I will feed you [and the children], and [if you die in the process] I will take care of your cremation.”

The Chepangs are residents of Dhading, a district just 75 kilometers west of Kathmandu, the capital. In Kathmandu, thousands of people acquire family planning and maternal and child health care services every day. But Chepang says she has never been to the city, let alone obtained any of the family planning services there.

Orphaned as a child, Chepang married her husband 30 years ago at age 12. She says she was working as a housemaid and he, 20 at the time and also working as house help, promised to take care of her.

Within a year of their marriage, Chepang gave birth to her first child, which survived for only four months. She says she believed at the time that giving birth to one child after another – with some surviving and some not – was a natural phenomenon after marriage. In all, Chepang conceived 26 times.

“Some died in the womb, some within a few days of their birth and some after six months,” she says.

Only two of the babies Chepang has given birth to are alive today – a son and a daughter, who is deaf.

In addition to the multiple births, Chepang says that she often had no help during labor.

“One of my sons was positioned ectopically in the womb,” she says. “His hands came out first, and I tugged him out myself. The placenta followed, and I almost died with the pain.”

After her 23^rd child, she suffered from uterine prolapse, a condition when the uterus slips down from its normal position. She began to bleed regularly and suffer from dizziness and pain. But she continued to give birth. Her condition worsened, and her movement was limited to dragging herself to the toilet when necessary.

Chepang’s physical condition also kept her from helping her husband with the housework. She says her husband had to single-handedly take care of the cattle, the fields and the housework while Chepang watched helplessly.

Although Chepang’s case is not the norm in Nepal, the average number of children born by a single mother is still high in rural areas.

A lack of awareness of family planning options in rural communities often leads to more births than women say their bodies can withstand. The government and nongovernmental organizations, NGOs, here have started to disseminate family planning information to rural communities. But many women say that even with this knowledge, their families and cultural beliefs stand in the way of taking advantage of available options.

The total fertility rate, or births per woman, in Nepal fell from 6.3 in 1976 to 3.1 in 2006 because of campaigning and promotion of family planning, according to a 2009 report by the Family Planning Association of Nepal, FPAN, a national NGO. The contraceptive prevalence rate, the percentage of women or their partners using contraception, increased from 26 percent in 1996 to 44 percent in 2006, according to the latest Nepal Demographic and Health Survey, NDHS.  

But the FPAN report also notes that although the fertility rate in urban areas of Nepal has declined to two children for each set of parents, it is still high in rural areas. The contraceptive prevalence rate is also lower in rural areas than in urban areas.

Aswini Rana, an FPAN counselor, says that family planning is a challenge in rural areas.

“It is still a big challenge to effectively spread awareness of family planning in the rural, remote and socially backward societies of Nepal,” Rana says. “There is a dearth of family planning services, methods and devices at the health posts situated in the rural areas.” 

Chepang says that her husband once had to carry her for more than an hour to reach a health post. But she says the health post staff hesitated to touch her. Rana attributes this reluctance to the lack of necessary knowledge, skills and resources needed to handle such maternity health complications at rural health posts.

Chepang’s village is less than a three-hour drive from Kathmandu, with its myriad of hospitals and health facilities that promote family planning and provide care for pregnant women. Yet the lack of health services and awareness of family planning in Chepang’s community, the Chepangs, one of the most socially excluded and “backward” indigenous communities of Nepal, seems worlds away.

Although there has been a decline in unmet needs when it comes to family planning in Nepal, there is still a geographical disparity, according to the NDHS. Three-fourths of women in urban areas of Nepal said their needs were met, compared with less than two-thirds of women in rural areas.

But Dr. Kiran Regmi, director of the Family Health Division under the Department of Health Services, says Chepang’s case is an exception and that she is optimistic about the increasing awareness of family planning in Nepal.

“We have started to promote appropriate methods of family planning targeted towards those who do not understand and are hence averse to surgical measures of family planning,” Regmi says.   

Family planning services used to only be available in the Kathmandu Valley, according to the NDHS. But thanks to FPAN, the Nepal Family Planning and Maternal Child Health Project was established at government level in 1968 and has gradually expanded to cover all of Nepal’s districts since then.

Temporary methods, such as male condoms and contraceptive pills, are now available at national, regional, zonal and district hospitals; health care centers; and health posts and sub-health posts; according to the NDHS. But more long-term services, such as Norplant implants, IUD insertions and sterilization, are only available in certain districts.

Sagar Dahal, the Family Health Division’s senior public health administrator, says that the governmental department has started to work on guidelines for how to make family planning services more available in rural areas, especially among indigenous groups. But he says this will take time.

“This will take about six to seven months, and the government plans to take the rural family planning program ahead on the basis of those guidelines,” he says.

But women say that even when they do become aware of family planning options, many times cultural beliefs and family members stand in the way.

One mother, Sumitra Pulami Magar, 33, of Balajor, a village in southeastern Nepal, says that she has been using a temporary contraceptive, an injection that she must receive every three months, for the past four years. But her husband, Balkrishna Pulami Magar, says they can’t tell his mother, who objects to family planning.

“After the first two children, I had said we must take permanent measures of family planning, but my mother was not happy with the decision,” he says. “After that, we had two more children and the responsibilities also increased, and my wife and I decided to start on the contraceptive measures without informing my mother.”

The radio is the most popular outlet for family planning messages in rural areas, with televisions, billboards, and newspapers and magazines much less common than in urban areas, according to the NDHS. But still, family members and communities disapprove.

Sarita Tamang, 27, from the same district as Chepang, says her body is tired after giving birth to three daughters and that she learned from radio announcements that contraceptives could prevent her from having more children. But she says that women in her village, who usually deliver their babies at home, are too shy and embarrassed to go to the local health post to obtain contraceptives. Plus, she says her husband still yearns for a male heir.

“What can I do?” she asks. “My husband has said that he needs a son anyhow.”

Chepang says that she also learned about an operation that can stop future pregnancies on the radio. But she says that when she asked her husband to take her to the city to get the operation, he told her that showing her private parts to others was shameful.

Chepang resigned herself to immobility until a stranger got involved after he heard Chepang’s story on the radio, thanks to a youth from her village. The listener, Kiran Gautam, assistant inspector general of the police, contacted the radio station and said he wanted to pay for Chepang to have the operation. 

“When I heard about her condition, I felt very sorry for her,” Gautam says. “I immediately called up the radio station and made arrangements for her treatment.”

He says her story made him realize that women in Nepal deserve more respect.

“Seeing a woman, who is barely 50, in such a state and knowing how she was compelled to lead this life of pain, I realized that the status of women in Nepal is still very lamentable,” he says.

Thanks to Gautam's support, Chepang’s uterus was surgically removed in a hospital in a neighboring district last year. She now leads a healthy life and is able to go about her daily activities.

by Michelle Finotto

"I had given myself up for dead. "

-Hem Kumari Chepang, conceived 26 children

”I had given myself up for dead and never believed that I could lead a normal life ever again,” Chepang says, smiling. “I feel like I have been given a new lease to life by God himself.”

Chepang now does her part to promote family planning by advising younger women in her village to not bear too many children.

“Sasu-aama [mother-in-law] has advised me not to have more than two children,” Chepang’s daughter-in-law, Sharmila, says shyly.

Source: Global Press Institute - Tuesday, April 26, 2011